Please, don’t play yourself like this sirs and/or madams. Just don’t. I’m too lazy to cut, copy and paste this in the correct order, so read from the bottom up. You know the drill. I’m going to be uncharacteristically nice and withhold my commentary on this “Block” fool, his annoying use of the Caps Lock key and that whole “Winkin’ at you” thing, throw up my first Track of the Day for 2011 and be out. So…you know I had to pick "Po Pimp" by Do or Die featuring Twista, right?
Ah yes, the age old, tiresome and rather annoying debate: why do men cheat? I have my own thoughts on the subject and I could sit here at my laptop for hours on end, typing up a double spaced, 12 point Times New Roman font, thousand plus word essay that would either have you thinking I’m bitter, wise beyond my almost 21 years and/or crazy, but guess what? I don’t have the time for all that so we’re not gonna go there. Not now. Maybe one day though. Maybe. Peep the screen shots below.
notice how I try to be semi-nice and I get told to hush in the end. Ugh. Niggas.
We’re a mess lol. Now, from my unfortunately considerable experience, men and women, I can’t leave y’all out even though I’ve never dealt with y’all on a romantic level and have no intention of doing so will cheat for any matter of reasons, but I’ve drawn my own come to the conclusion that most do it because, like it or not and I honestly don’t have the patience to care if you like it, they can. There doesn’t have to be a deep psychological reason behind it, although that’s not to say that there won’t be one, but that’s it. People cheat because they can.
Doesn’t matter if you’re in a committed, loving relationship with someone or not, if you make up in your mind that you want to cheat? Then you’ll cheat. Simple as that. See what I said about people thinkin’ that I’m “bitter”? *sigh* Whateva. ♥
Why is there alwaysthat one person in church that claps loudly and off-beat? Better question: Why was Bro. Heavy Hands sittin’ behind me doin’ the “Grindin’” beat on my eardrums with every round of applause during service earlier? If I wasn’t so concerned with the state of my Immortal Soul, I woulda turned around, smacked him upside the head with the New King James version of the Bible and hummed “Goin’ Up Yonder” while proceeding to do so with amazing graceas I beat him with a hymn book. But possibly unluckily for him, Judgment Day isn’t too far off and I’ll have more than enough to answer for. Anyway. Happy Fathers Day to all the real fathers, single mothers, aunts, uncles, grandma’s, next door neighbors, et cetera and ad nauseum that are holdin’ it down in the life of a child somewhere. You’re appreciated more than you know and in honor of today and all of you, I won’t delve into my pile of daddy issues. Nope, I’m gonna keep it movin’ with my Track of the Day and call it a post. Today, my Pastor and newly appointed Bishop preached from Matthew, 7: 13-14
(13) Enter by the narrow gate; for broad is the gate and broad is the way that leads to destruction, and there are many who go in by it. (14) Because narrow is the gate and difficult is the way that leads to life, there are few who find it.
And he went on to talk about choosing the right (see: narrow) path in and during our spiritual lives. While he was explaining how and why the narrow path wasn’t going to be an easy one to take, an edited version of "The Narrow Path” , my favorite song from Blu and Exile’s Below the Heavens, was playing softly in my head.
Packin' up my bags Hoppin' back on the narrow path that's planned for us
Tryin’ to tell my folks that flowin’ ain’t easy Travelin’ down this yellow brick road until it frees me I need a pen, I need a pad, I need a place to go To get this shit lifted off of my soul
It's been a long goin', troublesome road and I'm still travelin'. ♥
“Listen to my story and you’ll know just who the bastard is.”
The time is currently 2:14 AM and surprise, sureffinprise: I’m wide the eff awake. Once again. Ugh. I don’t have time for this ish, yet here I am, Beethoven’s String Quartet in C, Op. 29 is playing softly on WQXR, there’s a liter of Deja Blue to the right of me and and a pencil complete with fresh bite-marks in my hand, scratching quietly along the page. I should be in my bed, snuggled up with my ferocious beast of a stuffed lion E, yet again, here I am. I haven’t been able to fall asleep at a decent hour for the past three weeks or so. It’s either because I didn’t get to sleep until 6:45 one morning after staying up and out with The Bestie and The Toy until 5:00, or it’s because of what I discovered the morning before that. Long story short: Bitches and those who should know better kill me with the shit they do and the pointless lies they tell. If you feel the need to lie about a situation, not once, not twice but multiple times? To someone who knows and accepts the real you, no matter what you do? You know what you’re doin’ is wrong. …but I’m not goin’ there, not tonight. Let me throw up these tracks of the day and be out until next post. First up is QuEStyes, again. He’s one of my favs, what can I say? with the P.ersonal assisted track ”Ego”
from his upcoming “Sydney in Theory” EP I’m lovin’ the alternative-hip hop feel of this track. He managed to fuse two of my favorite genres of music and create a more progressive sound with help from lyrics like
I’m more ‘bout myself, I am on my own shit… pricked from the thorns of the grapevine a rose that emerged from the concrete stone a stick of dynamite, the thought that I’d be blown they don’t even know the shit my mind be on…
Which is, if you hadn’t already guessed, QuESt’s take on Jay Elechanukkah Jay Electronica’s instant classic “Exhibit C”. QuESt goes in, delivering lyrical promises like
And I ain’t goin’ nowhere nickname ‘Tattoo’ Stick this game to save my heart that’s why they call me John Q
over the Just Blaze crafted beat. Listen closely, he’s got quotables for days. ♥
The sun will come, this we know for sure…can you stand the rain?
It’s another one of those days y’all. The rain falling on my roof is pitter-patterin’, drip-droppin’ and drivin’ me insane. Not only has said rain effed up my wireless signal but it’s also interfering with DirecTV’s satellite signal and Steel Magnolias was just getting good. Dammit. Other than that and being too lazy to get up and dump the rain water that’s accumulated in the bucket in the middle of my living room, I’m coolin’, listenin’ to music. I finished a couple of boutonnieres and corsages for The Bestie’s Lil Bro’s prom a little while ago peep it out
and they just picked ‘em up before they went to go do whatever it is that you do before prom, I didn’t go to either one of mine so eh. I’m almost bored enough to explain why I didn’t attend either one of the ridiculously overpriced dances thrown for the junior and senior classes of my alma mater, but guess what? I don’t want to. Nobody wants to hear about my sperm-donor with selective benefits daddy issues, my future therapist is gonna get an earful soon enough, but until then or until I get bored, pissed off or dunk enough to start blabbin; my secrets, I’m gonna throw up these tracks of the day and be the eff out. First up is “Can You Stand the Rain?”
by New Edition
And lastly is “Do You Remember the Rain?”
by one of my favorite up and coming artists, QuEStoff of his Distant Travels Into Soul Theory project which was one of the better releases of 2009. Not only does the song go with the rain theme of this post, but I’ve been here before; I can relate. Losing the one that you love—the one person that you would give it all up for if they asked, the one that you see yourself spending the rest of your life with—to someone else is one of—if not the most heartbreaking things that you can ever go through. You cry; ask yourself if it’s your fault that the relationship went wrong and how you can fix it and… If you’ve never experienced this, count yourself lucky, but sit back and take a moment to listen to the sounds of heartbreak. Remember that pain and don’t you ever put another person through that if you can help it. *cough* If you’ll excuse me, I’ll be hopping off of my improvised soapbox now, might even make a call to my duder Soap. Hmm…maybe not, might txt him though. I’m out. ♥
First things first: Congrats Alissa and Dejon!! I’m so happy for you sis and I know that you and D will be amazing parents to Kali ♥ Secondly: Allow me to explain the title before some poor unfortunate soulword to Ursula gets it flipped, twisted and generally confused. Yes, I am young, black and Puerto Rican as well. Bitter though? Nah, more like semi-sweet. Semi-sweetness aside though, that didn’t stop some loser from texting that to me the other day when they were thinkin’ about/denying the fact that they missed me. I thought it was hilarious, but then again, I’m a sick individual. Anywho. How goes it to those of y’all who stumble across the blog and read a bit before you continue your search for free porn? Y’all been good? Bueno. It’s been a minute since I’ve posted anything of substance so I felt like it was time to break my self-imposed silence. Not that y’all care or whatever. Some Anonymous person—*waves* hey sweetie, how ya been?—told me that I should stop blogging because no one cares about what I have to say and a whole bunch of other things designed to “tear me down” and “break my blogging spirit” or some shxt. Long story short: it ain’t work; all it did was piss me the eff off. But it’s all good now, I’m not sweatin’ it. Don’t have the time. I’ve been a very busy girl lately, which is the main reason I haven’t posted to The (Infamous) Life or any of my other blogs lately. I’ve been looking for a new job cuz this typing gig that I have ain’t cuttin’ it and the writing schedule that Miss Maria has me on is Bonkersyeah, totally nuts. This job situation? Lawd. Could it get any more reckless? A couple of weeks ago, I had an interview at this tuxedo shop up the street from Chez Ren, right? Yeah…needless to say that I nailed the interview. However, I didn’t get the job. It went to someone’s frickin’ Meemaw. When I found out I didn’t get the job, I of course asked why they decided to go with Geriatric Woman Number Three instead of me. I was told that it was because she had more experience. A few things: 1) The hen—I can’t call her a chick as they’re young and she definitely ain’t—that got the job was in charge of guarding the first fire in ancient times. I’m sure that over the course of the many millennia that have passed since then she’s had many jobs which include but aren’t limited to: Pyramid builder, cross maker, Chupacabra wrangler, etc. etc 2) of course her—no disrespect—old ass has more experience than I do 3) Bleh and booooo on their decision. Not too sure how many guys are gonna rent tuxes from a chick hen who reminds them of their grandmother considering how much debauchery they plan on committing during prom night. And they do plan on committing reckless acts of debauchery on prom night. They’re boys. Come on now. But whateva though, let me touch on my writing, throw on my tracks of the day and be out. In addition to working on my final rewrite of Cam&&Essence and developing storylines for the THD’s, I’ve started a new project. This one is completely different from anything that I’ve ever written before and I just wanna do a “Goode” job on it. I’ll talk about it in more detail next post, but until then, here’s a bit of tuneage to add to your digital media devices. First up is “Life of the Responsible 1” by QuESt
off his How Thoughtful project. His delivery over The Neptunes crafted “I Know” beat is crazy, the lyrics are on point like always, as is his lyrical dexterity. This is just one of the many tracks that makes me anxious for his next project, The Reason.
off D.R.E.A.M. The Mixtape. If you personally know me, you know how much I love Kingdom Hearts. If you love Kingdom Hearts, you’re gonna love this track. Not only does Kwess paint you an auditory picture of a Heartless seeking the door to the Light and a Nobody this makes perfect sense to the KH nuts like myself, it’s aight if you ain’t hip, just get that way seeking the same Light, he seamlessly blends the first two KH games with his lyrics. Utada Hikaru’s haunting vocals makes this the perfect song to play whether you’re chillin’ by yourself, beating Guard Armor in Traverse Town’s third district in KH 1 or trying to beat Sephiroth in The Dark Depths in KH 2. Yes, I’m a dork, I know.
Before you even allow the thought to cross your mind, I am quite aware that TIOBE is a play written by Oscar Wilde and I would like to inform you all that this is not a quote by me. No, I happen to know a little something about the plot and wouldn’t say anything as ignorant as that which I overheard and stole to use as a title. What do you take me as?
Hola mi amigos y…uh, whatever the Spanish word for “enemies” is. What’s bueno in your barrio’s Holmes? Holmes’s? Hmm…oh, what’s that? Pookie got knocked? Again? Ay carrumba. As for me and my rather fantabulous, infamous with a side of notorious self, I am…not in a good mood. At all. Which is ironic considering how this all got started. I honestly don’t feel like goin’ into it right now, but last week I heard from my lil big bro JB who is, in case you aren’t an original lurker of the blog, His natural born brother. We did a bit of catching up and, long-ish story short, I was encouraged to call Him. So I did. Twice. The first time I called I was fighting back tears. As His outgoing message came on, I realized just how much I miss Him and I was stumbling over my words as I left a message hoping that He’d get back to me soon. [I’m still waiting but if Q needs time He can take it. *shrugs*] Ah, you were astute enough to pick up on the fact that there’s a lot that I’m not saying right now? Well then, gold stars and handclaps for you. *sigh* =/
I’ll be back with some ill natured, bad tempered, smart mouthed, notorious infamy next post, I promise. Can’t have people thinkin’ that I’ve gone soft because I miss this nigga. Because I might have. And I definitely do. =(
Hey there Saturday night sinners and Sunday morning fakers saints. How be thee? Were you on time for Sunday School after you downed four shots of Tequila and an apple martini, danced semi-nude on the bar at your local night club then gathered up your goons and goblin lookin’ gurlies and headed to IHOP for the New York Cheesecake pancakes? You were? Well dang! I stayed home and watched Doctor Who wit’ the parental unit while I did some more work on the hooded blanket that I’m crocheting and I didn’t manage to make it in time for class. Then again, I haven’t been to Sunday School in a good…oh, I’d say ten years and I honestly have no intention of going back anytime soon. I’m (perhaps unlike some of y’all. It’s not my place to judge) in contact with my God on a regular basis. It’s not just a one day a week type of thing for me. Even if I’m not in my Word like I should be, I pray daily. *pauses to pick up and collect the jaws that may have dropped* I see that one day soon I’m gonna have to explain my faith and my stance on religion. I’m not about to sit here and call myself a Christian because you could easily look back at any of my previous posts and call me on my hypocritical, non-Christian like bullshxt. I’m not about to call myself “Spiritual” either because I see that as a cop-out of sorts. No, I won’t call myself a Christian and continue to run my life and my site the way that I do. I’d be no better than the “church folx” that I despise and I can’t have that. But ladies, gents, fellas who look like ladies and vice versa, that’s not here and I’m not going there. Not right now. I just took a batch of Snickerdoodle’s out of the oven—yes, I crochet and I bake. The (Infamous) One is slightly domesticated—and I fully intend to smash these with an ice cold glass of milk. *Proceeds to do so and burps quietly* Excuse me. So anyway, ya girl is chillin’ out, maxin’, relaxin’ all cool and living the life as Your Adorable Marvelousness, The Phresh Princess of Lansing. I’m currently listening to music as I half watch an epi of Cold Case and reminiscing about the past. Halfcrazy… [I’ll upload and post the song in a bit, DivShare is actin’ ass right now smh]
Years ago, back when my on again, off again boyfriend and I were off again, this song was me and Jay. One quick, sweet kiss was almost enough to ruin a lifelong friendship. Almost. Before things got too weird between us, I confronted him by telling him that he was not that great of a kisser (slight lie) and if things didn’t get back to the way they were between us quick, fat and in a gotdamn hurry, I’d have to punch him in the throat (truth). We never kissed again, but we did indeed make up. Shortly after, Jay got introduced to the girl who was ultimately his downfall. That stupid, dirty, no good, very bad bxtch. *sigh* Anywho, I’m about to get another glass of milk and another cookie or three. I’ll try to keep the excursions down Memory Lane to a minimum. Y’all might think that I’ve gone soft or some shxt and I need to strike fear into your lives or at the very least make you laugh. Making you laugh is the objective I suppose, although the fear lasts longer. Til the morrow; parting is such sweet sorrow and all that.
Three days down, three hundred and sixty two to go. ♥
Hey there, ho-ho-ho there, how goes it Santa’s little helpers? Everyone havin’ a jolly time decking the halls with bows of Ilex aquafoliumand rocking around your respective Christmas trees? You’re not? I hope your grandmother gets run over by a reindeer walking home from your house on Christmas eve.
As for ya girl, I’m in my room, caked up with my ferocious beast of a stuffed lion under my electric blanket, bored as all hell and tryin’ to remember where I put one of my many notebooks. I wrote up this blog in response to someone’s overdramatic reaction about something that had absolutely nothing to do with them and I’m thinking about posting it. Not because I know that they’re waiting for my response, but because it was funny and those of you who have quote unquote warped minds and senses of humor much like my own would appreciate it. I said something like
Don't you get tired of jumping to the conclusion that everything I say and do is about you? This never ending game of leapfrog must be tiring, so take a seat on that lily-pad over there and listen well
then I said what I had to say in a rather uncharacteristic, laid back and non rude way. Those of you who think that I’m a bxtch would have enjoyed it. But no matter, the notebook is missing and I can’t be bothered enough to tear up my room looking for it. I finally got it sorta kinda almost but not really clean. One thing about Ren that y’all may not know is that I hate to clean. I need to hurry up, sell a book, sign a multi-release deal with film options and get rich so I can afford to have a maid. Oh, and to move out of Michigan forever; hate it here.
Anyway, that’s all this time around boys and girls. I know how much you non-blog commenting blog readers hate it when you have to actually read, so I’m keeping this one short for y’all. Merry Chrismahanukwanzakah busters, don’t say I never did anything for ya. Now, onto the tracks of the day.
First up, we have “Yule Shoot Your Eye Out” by Fallout Boy
which is the only Christmas related song I’m throwin’ on here today. I’m sure somewhere, someone is thinking that this song is about them, but allow me to burst the rather large bubble that may be forming as that person reads: It’s not, but I’m flattered that you think it is.
Next up, we have some Bach, Cello Suite number…um *sigh* I forget and the information wasn’t on my mp3 player smh. Oh well, I do know that it’s played rather beautifully by Jacqueline du Pre
Now we have two selections by Sebastian Mego first is “You”
then ”Here Comes One”
And to close this one out, I leave you with “Carry On My Wayward Son” by Kansas
On that note, I’m out. Can’t wait til Saturday when I can stop wit’ the Christmas themed puns and titles, these are tiresome to think up y’know.
Life is the worlds’ biggest and most expansive learning experience and I’m at the top of my class. I don’t need a tutor.
God rest ye merry gentlemen and women who look the part. How be all of thee? Letting nothing dismay you from the lead astray lives that you lead? Here’s to hoping that you bring tidings of Southern Comfort and joy this holiday season. Alcoholic eggnog will work too. I’m not picky.
How art I?
A little bit crazy, always sexy and relatively cool in a not so calm yet completely collected way. That’s right mister, I’m nice wit’ the puns and witticisms, so it was surely jest when you thought that your quips were superior to my own. Get familiar jo [=
I’m currently tryin’ to figure out a way to get out of the painfully stilted conversation that’s sure to occur this afternoon as I’ve been expressly forbidden from listening to music in my egg donor’s egg donor’s house. My Nana seems to think that ignoring people by perusing my library of 1500+ songs is rude. However; I know for a fact that real rudeness is harping on things that you know nothing about for hours on end. Insisting on trying to fix which isn’t broken in my life by incessant nagging isn’t much better. But no matter, let’s get into this one as I ponder my predicament.
♥
12 Things About Chrismahanukwanzakah That Annoy Me
12) Malls, the annoying people who shop in them and mall Santa’s: As you know, I’m not the world’s biggest fan of people and the idiocy that seems to be imbedded deep within their genetic code. Malls and Christmas shoppers have helped to make me that way. Every year, the number of people that lose their minds over the “sales” on recently marked up items at stores like Macy’s and JC Penney’s multiplies tenfold as they try to obtain the inane trinkets that are given out as door-busters. Add that to those creepy mall Santa’s—It takes a very special kind of man to have children sitting on his lap all day be his seasonal occupation—it’s pretty easy to see why I don’t eff wit’ the mall unless I have to this time of year.
11) Niggas who break up with you to avoid buying a present: These are the same niggas that call you up to make plans for New Year’s Eve on December 26th.
10) Holiday Themed Clothing: Yes, I love Christmas as much as the next person who still rips a corner of wrapping paper off of the presents under the tree to try to figure out what they’re getting. But at the same time, you won’t catch me dressed in a Christmas tree sweater with real working lights; candy cane leggings; boots with bells that jingle; an antler headband and optional red nose. [I’ve seen it.] I’d rather skinny dip with Jack Frost, wrestle polar bears and fence with narwhals before I looked like a walking Macy’s display gone horribly and ever so recklessly awry.
9) Tinsel: Whoever thought up those minute (here pronounced “my-newt”. As in…little. Not the unit of time measurement), glittery pieces of annoyance should be punched in the throat. Twice.
8) Live Christmas trees: I am a firm believer of and in artificial trees. You see, those wonderful creations of human ingenuity come in assorted styles, colors and sizes. Real trees? Yeah, you get what you get and that’s that. Mother nature will gladly give you a tree that makes Charlie Brown’s look like a 12 foot Douglas Fir and think nothing of it. Beside that, pine-needles make me itch.
7) Holiday Specials: All I have to say is that Lifetime and Hallmark should be banned from making pseudo uplifting movies about talking animals and curmudgeonly old geezers with hearts of silver, gold and platinum. Quick, fast and in a hurry.
6) Church Plays: …I’m gonna watch what I say on this one as I’m currently writing this as I watch the one that’s being put on by my church. God may just decide to throw a golden Yule log scented with frankincense and myrrh at me. If the thought of being permanently logged out—I know, I know. I couldn’t resist—of my (infamous) life wasn’t enough to make me want to bite my tongue, I’ve synced my blog with my notes on FaceBook. I’m friends with a few of the saints from my local parish. Y’all know the church be talkin’.
5) Gift wrapping: I’ve accomplished a lot in my twenty years here on this third rock from the sun, the mastery of the art of effortless awesomeness that in turn makes me better than you on your best day for example. As awesome as I am though, I can’t wrap presents to save mine (infamous) life. Every time I try, I either use too much paper or not enough. Either way, it looks like a flaming hot mess. God invented gift bags and tissue paper for a reason.
4) Salvation Army donation people: Times are hard and believe me when I say that I know that. I spent the majority of my Saturday doing volunteer work for the holiday. I’m not going to talk about the giving of money because if I’ve been blessed enough to receive it, I can bless someone else by donating it to a good cause. I’m talking about the way that the Salvation Army is trying to guilt people into giving donations by making the frail and sick stand in the cold to ring those bells. The last time Tia and I went shopping, we saw this old lady who had to be at least seventy standing outside a-ring-ring-ringlin’ her bell. I dug deep and slipped a ten into the bucket even though I wanted nothing more than to buy her a scarf and a cup of spiced cider.
3) Snow: Snow is the devil. The white devil. Every winter, I feel like I’m in a blaxploitation flick. Foxy and a whole lot of woman though I may be, Lemon CreamCaramel Macchiato is fighting a losing battle for warmth and consistently clear sidewalks. Shazaam.
2) Idiots who forget how to drive in the snow: I live in Michigan. We’re shaped like a frickin’ glove for a reason; we’re no stranger to snow in my “great” state, but that doesn’t stop nitwits from acting like they can’t drive. The other night when I was talkin’ to Consciouson FaceBook and watchin’ rap-battles on YouTube, this person with yellow snow for brains ran into the light-pole outside of mi casa.
1) Christmas Carols: Look son, I don’t care if you want to buy these here shoes for your momma, Santa Claus can come to town all he wants to, I don’t give a gotdang nor a fanga in the middle about you wantin’ your two front teeth for Christmas and I want every chestnut to pop-pop-pop you in the eye as you roast it over the open fire. I’ve been hearing Christmas carols everyday since Halloween. Every. Day. I hear them in the stores, on public transportation, in my nightmares, everywhere.
That being said…today’s track of the day is “Jesus is the Reason for the Season” by Kirk Franklin and The Family.
Before I get into this post, time for a random screenshot of a conversation between Lil One and I
So. Effin’. Rude.
But anyway…
Hey y’all, what it is, what it look like and all that good stuff? How the heck be you gnomes, elves and assorted ho-ho-ho’s?
Y’know, Santa isn’t the only one who has a list that he checks twice so y’all best be on your uh…best behavior. While I’m not omnipresent—triple word score bxtches (=—I do have spies all over and I know exactly when your being naughty and nice. For example…you? Yes, you, the light skinned dude wit’ the body who resides out on the east-coast? Yeah…you can be a naughty boy all you like, as long as you do it on webcam where I can monitor you…
*cough*
I’m just playin’ gotdangit, sheesh!
I don’t have access to the internet right now, so who knows when I’m going to get the chance to post this or any other post that I may write. As it is, I finally finished rewriting the overview that I did for Darren Hanibleand told him that I would email it to him before I post it, but…no net.
*sigh*
So, I’m about to do a random countdown, from ten to one, of things that have crossed my mind today and otherwise. It shall be fun. For y’all. Maybe. I don’t know. Don’t really care at the moment either, too bored for that
*shrugs*
Let’s get into it.
♥
10 Things I Always Wished I Could Say to 10 People
10) Yeah…you’re the main reason I don’t date Lansing niggas.
9) Love and Basketball is not that great of a movie [Yeah, I said it. And?]
8) You’re not a big fan of thinking before you speak, are you?
7) Thank you.
6) You stupid, stupid cow. I told you not to get that niggas name tatted on you!
5) I do.
4) For someone so incredibly smart, you are so unbelievably stupid. Open your eyes. Please?
3) I don’t have it in me to hate anyone, but if I did, it would definitely be you for what you did.
2) I will make it, fxck you for not believing in me.
1) Siempre.
9 Things About Me You May or May Not Know
9) the “R” in my first name is capitalized for a reason and I hate it when people don’t spell my name the right way or think that the capitalization changes the way my name is pronounced.
“LauRen” is pronounced the same way as “Lauren”
thank you kindly.
8) I’m a Leo, the best fire sign ever in the history of everdom
7) “Never will I ever utter never to myself” word to Wale
6) I have a scar that’s shaped like a lizard on my left ankle from the surgery I had after I broke my ankle on Valentine’s Day 2003
5) I’m a Bible Bowl Champion
4) I took a huge chance over the summer and risked everything that I know and I’m still hoping that what I did was worth the risk. Still waiting to find out…
3) I was that quiet girl in HS who always had her nose in a book
2) I can’t leave the house without my music, a book, a notebook and at least one tube of lip-gloss
1) My life is a harmonious dichotomy. I’m an enigmatic, contradiction of a conundrum and that my friends, enemies and hybrid of the two, is my defense mechanism of choice.
8 Ways to Win My Friendship
8) Honesty is indeed the best policy ladies and gents.
7) Be yourself. If I wanted more fakeness, I’d associate with more bxtches from Lansing
6) Be prepared to deal with my sarcasm. No one is safe from it, if you can’t handle that, your application for the position of friend to The (Infamous) One hath already been denied.
5) Have a sense of humor…but don’t try too hard. If you have to struggle to get laughs, you may as well give it up.
4) Be prepared to subscribe to my issues. I have more than a few and if you deal with mine, I’ll deal with yours in return
3) Don’t be afraid to speak your mind—about anything.
2) Be there when I need you. Not that I’m gonna have you bail me outta jail or anything like that—that responsibility lies wit’ the bestie—just be there when I need someone to talk to, I’ll appreciate it and you.
1) Don’t bullshxt me. I don’t have the time for that foolishness and you do not want to know what happens when I find out you lied to me. Tis not a pretty sight homies and ho’s.
7 Things That Crossed My Mind Today
7) What the hell? How did this end up under my bed?
6) Wonder what’ll happen if I do end up writing that?
5) No the hell she did not take my effing modem away! What is this bullshxt? What am I, three and a half, cuz I mean, really?
4) I kinda miss that…*sad face*
3) Wonder what Jay would say about everything that’s goin’ on right now
2) Eeny, Meany, Miney, Mo, which one of these ho’s should I make hit that stroll?
1) Argh—like a pirate—I have writing to do
6 Things That I Do Before Bed
6) Talk on the phone for a couple of hours[usually until I fall asleep]
5) pick out pjs before saying a loud “eff it” and falling asleep in an oversized t-shirt
4) read/write
3) listen to music
2) shower
1) say a prayer for Him
I am not in a good effin’ mood right now. Which sucks, I was geeked like shxt less than half an hour ago. I’m not about to even talk about the reasons behind my geekage as it would do absolutely nothin’ but piss me off now, so, I’m gonna throw up some tracks of the day since I’ve neglected to do so for a while now.
Next up, we have “This is your captain speaking” by Lazy Eye
After that I present to you “Black Sugar” by [my duder] Conscious
Expect to see a lot more music by him on here. Not because we’re cool with each other, but because this is my type of hip-hop. I selected the above song at random because they’re all that good. Trust. Would I steer you wrong when it comes to my music?
And last, but most certainly not least is “This Means War” by up and coming emcee Darren Hanible
*sigh*
I’m so irked right now that I can’t even give any of the artists that I’ve featured in this post the proper praise they deserve. Ugh. I feel like I’m cheating them out of something =(
At least I’ll be able to make up for it when I post my review of D. Hanible’s Bliss project later on this week or early next week depending on my schedule. As for everyone else, I’ll be more descriptive when I post their music in future entries.
On that note, I’m out.
♥
I’m so effin’ irked I didn’t even use 300 effin’ words. Fxck. It’s that bad right now smh.
Every wish that I’ve ever made has lead me to you and I thank God for thebroken roadthat I travelled to lead me to you
*sigh*
I’m not even about to hit y’all with an introduction this time around. I can honestly say that I’m not in the mood to make my particular brand of lighthearted if one sided banter. So…let’s get it.
♥
I make the wishes that I make in memory of Jay.
When we were younger, An American Tail was one of our favorite movies and we used to drive his family crazy whenever we watched it because we had to recite every line and sing every song.
About a year or so before he passed away, we were watching the movie and trying to act as though he had all the time in the world left to live. When the movie got to my favorite song “Somewhere Out There” he let the scene play then paused the movie. Turning to me, Jay asked me if I knew what the song was saying. Smart ass that I am, I gave him my signature “why don’t you break it down for me since I’m so slow” look and told him that I had no clue what it meant.
Giving me his “why you gotta be so damn difficult” look, he told me:
No matter what happens, no matter where you go or what you do in life, there’s gonna be someone out there that loves you no matter what. Someone who may have never met you is saying a prayer for you right now in hopes that they will meet you one day. They’re saying a prayer because they know that you’re out there waiting for them. They may not know who or where you are, but they know that somewhere, maybe near and maybe far,you’re out there and they’re waiting to meet you. The very thought of you could be the only thing that’s helping this person get by
At this point, he stood, grabbed me by the hand and dragged me out to the backyard. [which I was not happy about, it was cold as shxt that night]
Once we were in the yard, he told me to look up. Doing so, he told me to make a wish for that as yet, unknown person. Without turning around to look at him, I told him that if any wishing was going to be done that night, it would be a wish for him.
“You gotta get used to the fact that I’m not gonna be here forever Ren, I have. It’s not all about me and it’s not even all about you. It’s about the other person too.”
“Why should I care about someone I don’t even know?”
“Because they care enough to do the same for you.”
Knowing that I’d never be able to win with him, I found my star and I said my wish…
LauRen Elizabeth and the no good, shxtty ass, let me calm the fxck down before I find a bxtch and choke her out for lookin’ at me wrong and end my ass up in jail day
I am not in a good mood right now and as of now I have no clue what’s gonna happen as my fingers fly over the keyboard of my laptop, so, there is a possibility that I may offend someone with this post and it’s guaranteed that I’ll give nary a damn or a fanga in the middle about it. I don’t live my life to please any of those who aren’t living to please me and seeing as none of y’all are tryin’ to do a gotdamn thang to better my life right now, I really don’t care. Take it how you wish to take it. As always, that’s on you.
*sighs and counts to ten*
I’m trying not to have a stroke-aneurysm-heart attack combo right now and people are making it difficult by tap dancing on my last good nerve the way that Satan tap danced across my screen while I was listening to Rihanna’s Rated R album. What’s really pissin’ me off is that today started out so well too. But it is what it is and I’m moving on. Think I’ve got a topic now.
♥
*sigh*
Oh the many and varied ways that I love people.
What’s that? You detect a not so subtle tinge of sarcasm? Good. I meant for that to happen. Believe me when I say that if I didn’t want you to know that I was being sarcastic, you wouldn’t. As I write this, I’m sitting on Twitter—like I do when I’m bored so tis a frequent thing with me—and watching ignorance reign supreme on the trending topics. #blackthoughtsis currently the number one trend, and I’m pretty sure that our collective ancestors are downright thrilled with the responses that are being garnered as I shake my head and type.
Here are some examples of some typical #blackthoughts tweets
And things of that nature for more, click the link.
The ignorance that is currently on display is staggering and I don’t have time nor the patience necessary to sit and watch my race be insulted and stereotyped by it’s own members.
For every one
tweet, there are twenty
tweets.
Making a mockery of who and what you are? Especially in the name of a trending topic? That’s self-hate and it’s a disease no matter how you try to spin it. While I’m on the subject, you can’t label something as a “black” thought, then get mad when some non-black person chooses to comment and go in on the topic as well. You can’t stereotype yourself and then wonder why others treat you in a stereotypical manner. It doesn’t work like that.
On that note, I leave you with “The Kramer” by Wale. Listen to the lyrics, think on what he’s saying in the song.
And make sure, anything you say Can be held against you in any kind of way In any connotation and viewed any way Cuz under every “nigga” is a little bit of Kramer Self hatred, I hate ya and myself… Nigga
What it be like erryone? How art thou lives on this cold ass November day? Oh, they’re good? Don’t you feel special, loved and tickled pink all at the same gotdang time?
Oh, things are going bad for you? Well you know what? Suck it the eff up. I’m still on my “don’t nobody bring me no bad news” kick because I’ve got shxt to do and don’t feel like seein’ the inside of a jail cell, so, if you have a problem and insist on tryin’ to bring me into it when I’m having a goodish day and haven’t thought about choking someone in more than an hour, this is what Ren says to you
You see, LauRen/Ren—*sigh* someone was asking me about the difference between Ren and LauRen earlier today. One of these days I shall discuss the “difference” between the two, I’m tired of answerin’ these Gonzo (nosy) fools questions about me. Fxckers.—honestly hath no more time for the bullshxt.
So yeah, that’s it for me this time boys, girls and all those in between and on the outskirts of each. I’ve got a dinner for to cook for my family and I, so I shall throw on these tracks of the day and go wonder if the person I’m not so low key flirting with is gonna call while I slave over a hot stove or at all. When I asked if he was gonna call he said he would but shxt, I’ve told niggas the same thing. Just did it last night. Then I did it earlier today. Then there was that guy who called when I was on the phone wit’ Miss Maria…
*shrugs*
Anywho, I’m on my R&B shxt today.
First up, we have “Take Care” byMarsha Ambrosius formerly of Floetry.
And last, but certainly not least, we have “Suffocated” by Bryan Ellis
Speaking of Mr. Ellis, someone out there has to have the download link for his song “Cry Now” I can’t find it anywhere and none of my connects—who claim to have everything *side eye*—can find it for me. So, if you have it or know of someone who has it, send it to me please and I will love you forever and three days. Or until you do somethin’ to piss me off. Send the track to LauRenxExCarter@gmail.comif you can find it please and thank you oh so very much.
Well, that’s it for now. Wonder if mister man person dude is gonna call or not…
Howdy and how be thee folks. Here’s to hoping it was a beautiful day in your respective neighborhoods. In mine? Twas cold as a witch’s titty…if she was standing in an ice chest locked in a deep freezer in the middle of Antarctica. It’s fxcked up that it’s usually a good 10 degrees warmer outside my house than it is inside chez Ren. Blame it on poor insulation if you like but I’m choosing to blame it on Tyrone, The Spirit of Gangsta Homo Thugs Past. That bxtch nigga hid my effin’ Snickers, probably ate that shxt. Fxckfacedbastardtard, get on my dang nerves.Word to Tweekygirlbandit as she knows exactly what I’m talkin’ about.
Anywho, right now I’m sittin’ in Positive Psychology, bored outta mi frickin’ cabeza, starin’ at the cup that my white mocha came in, wishing that there was something besides the wrapper from my blueberry muffin’ in it.
*sigh*
I’m hungry as a muhfxcka right now, so guess what? I’m not even gonna blog this time. This post hath been jacked from my [*cough*] awesome [*cough*] graphic designing sis PoloBandit and her blog. So…all you Barbie, Lewinsky, Hippie, Hoe ass Harajuku Slutpieces—I say that since I don’t really give a gotdamn about ya names. Sorry, just bein’ honest.—can direct your criticisms toward her. Let’s see if she’s lucky enough to get bog comments from you stingy fxckfaces.
Oh yeah, the extra emphasis is my own, just to let y’al know that this is how Ren feels too.
Let’s get into it.
♥
First and foremost, This whole 'Barbie, Minaj, Harajuku' thing. Why? Because a female rapper comes out of nowhere along with Lil Wayne, every girl wants to be a Minaj, Barbie, Lewinksy whatever? Three - fourths of these females today have NO IDEA of what the word "Harajuku" even MEANS. SMH at that. Nicki Minaj is probably the fakest most plasticized character walking this planet (after Lil Kim of course.) She has fake boobs, her ass is fake, she got work done on her nose, she really IS a 'Barbie'.
What kills me is that so many young girls/women are walking around wanting to be like her. Taking pictures in her poses, dressing like her, even going so far as to change their names on Facebook, MySpace, Twitter, etc to those stupid names worn by her. Bet you fool ass females don't even have the common sense to notice that calling yourself "Lewinsky" basically is saying that you give head. Duh.
Why would any self respecting female want to be labeled as such? No one is bashing Nicki, i myself 'used' to like her music, until everybody hopped on the bandwagon. But
NEVER have i EVER wanted to be her or even LIKE her.
-____-
ANYWAY.
Another topic:
"Fake Pocahantas/Hippie Bishes"
L M A O . See. . . i know a good 3,576,583,068 of you females are going to get mad but its too bad, because i don't care :)
[neither does Ren. Just to put that out there]
Anywho - Someone PLEASE tell me WHEN it became cool to walk around w| your bra strap headbands all tight around your head, damn near cutting off the circulation to your brains?
I know a lot of females get excited when they slap on their headbands, sew in their tracks, throw on those long ass skirts, and walk around like you just spent a G on your outfit knowing you purchased it in Irvington Center. Actually it's not really where you purchased your clothing. Anyone can put on some nice decent clothes, but it really is your environment that sums you up.
A girl can wear ripped jeans, leather jacket and a headband in Summit or Short Hills Mall even. And another girl can wear the same exact outfit downtown Newark or Irvington Center. Guess who looks more of a Hoodbooger?
[ ♫ Jeopardy Music starts playing ♫ ]
Thats Riiiiiight. You guessed it. The girl downtown or in Irvington Center.
Why? Because of her surroundings. It does not matter what you wear. Its all on your location. Ever notice when you go to Short Hills Mall? Aren't there a lot of white girls walking around - a lot of them looking a Mess? Hair not done. Hoodie, sweatpants and Uggs or something like that. Does anyone say anything about them, looking like 'Hoodboogers'? No. because they're Not in the 'Hood'. Now have a black female do that. She would be torn to shreds with the outside commentary.
So ladies, if you think that you are stepping outside the box with your 'white gear'. Guess what? You're NOT. Because you're still being stereotyped as the ghetto hood girl coming out of wherever you are from. Yes it does sound harsh. Deal with it. Womp.
Listen. Stop sucking the Hippe Look. You all killed it. Its 2009, and MOST of you were born like just last night. You don't know good music. You all probably still think that Lil Wayne is God and walk around saying 'Burrr'.
Well guess what; Wayne is in jail and so is Gucci. Wayne has a bagillion kids and Gucci is just . . Gucci. Ew. S T O P . Loosen up the tight headbands . Take a deeeeeep breath . And inhale some sense.
Fxckers.
♥
Another thing: By calling yourself Barbie’s you foolish bxtches you, you’re ultimately setting yourself up to get played, much like the toy whose moniker you’ve taken on. Think before you jump on the bandwagon why don’t ya?
Anywho, time for my tracks of the day.
First up, we have another one from Darren Hanible, “Steez Machine” off of his Bliss mixtape
