Eff You See Kay Why Oh You Tee Oh Oh

(>_<)

I am not in a good mood right now.

But before we get into all of that,guess what? It’s random picture of Ren time! You don’t like it? Tough titty said the kitty and I’ll have to say after while crocodile as I insist that you Alt+F4 off of my ish right…now.

Now that that’s out the way, what it is princes, paupers, common folk and all those sleeping on their moms couch? How art thou on what’s a cold, rainy day here in the cap city of that bustling industrious center of a state Michigan?

Ah, picked up on the sarcasm did you? Good, here’s a cookie and a gold star…not.

As I said, I am not in the mood. You see, I’ve got chills and yes, they’re multiplyin’ [I just told you about it…stud] and while I’m pretty sure the power you’re supplyin’ isn’t anything near electrifying, I’ve got a fever of 101.5 right now. Add that to the fact that the sound of the rain against my window pane is quickly driving me insane as I lay here in bed, it’s safe to say that Ren is not a happy camper. Think Camp Granada unhappy camper and I don’t feel like linkin’ y’all to it so if you don’t know what I mean, I suggest that you Google it.

Anyway, I’m lettin’ my not in the moodness—it wasn’t a word but it is now—fuel the fires of mine imagination as I get into this one.

♥

And that whole not caring about if it’s reckless or not thing? Yeah, that’s real. I honestly don’t give a gotdamn, a fanga in the middle, a stick of celery or a jar of Ampro Styling Gel—Berry Ice cuz that’s how I roll—if going in in the fashion in which I’m about to go in is reckless or not.

Who gon’ check me boo?

*crickets sound as a tumbleweed rolls across your screen*
Yerp, that’s what I thought; nobody and if there was someone brave enough to try to check me it deffy ain’t you and not this fool either.

So, if you’re a reader, a lurker or follower of mine (Infamous) Life and Times, you may remember a few posts back when I posted "If Ignorance is Bliss; You Must Be the Happiest Person I Know". If you’re none of the above or didn’t happen to see the blog, look, I linked it for ya so you have no excuse for not reading it now. Busters. Anywho, I posted the comment that I left on my big bro Torkalina the Rebelina’s  blog where I pretty effectively summed up the situation and responded to this whack ass dis track

Yeah, I know. He totally bodied the track and made Tork and the rest of The Rebels wanna give up rap and stick to their respective day jobs right?

[-__________-]

Yeah…no. Deffy didn’t.

Like I said last time, Dee Woodz took it upon himself to respond and show Senor Sanrio how a proper dis track is supposed to sound

This is what he lyrically did to Senor Don Gato

 

Now, had Mister Kitty even a modicum of common sense about himself, he would’ve given up an let that be the end of things, but alas, that’s not the case. If it was, I wouldn’t be sitting here talkin’ about him now would I?

After taking some time to lick his wounds, HK “fired back”—*side eye*—by posting this to his blog:

Sorry, for the late post on the music people....I had other projects to do. But here yall go, some new ish in response to Dee Woodz diss to me....My question is when is Torkatonka gonna respond back??? I thought son was a rapper???? No better yet I thought he was A REBEL, lol.

and posted an “Ether” dis…

But this nigga fxcked up and called the shxt “Either”

*rolls eyes*

A few things…

1) Both Nas and Ron Brownz should slap the shit out of you for talking shit over such an iconic beat. When you use “Ether”, you’re supposed to body the track, not sit there and be what you think is funny and/or witty by making stupid comparisons. Torkaveli may sound like Machiavelli and Magnum Dollars may be equated to Reed Dollaz in your poor dazed and oh so very confused mind but let’s take a look at your name shall we? It’s an amalgam—which when used in this context is a mixture in case you weren’t in the know—of famous rappers names isn’t it Shawnjay?

2) Regardless of you and your quote unquote high ego dude, you’re obviously offended so don’t try to front and act like you aren’t. If you weren’t offended, you wouldn’t keep comin’ out wit’ dis after dis now would you?

3) “DMV Rebel? Hmm…Hell no”

He said it. Not me.

*shrugs*

4) I see where he was tryin’ to go wit’ his wrestling and MMA references; however, let’s not forget that it does’t take much to knock out Kimbo Slice. And lyrically son? Yeah, you don’t bring much to the table so I’ma have to ask that you let that marinate in your spirit for the next time. But um…let Mag ad-lib on a track and he’s Seth Petruzelli’d you

5) How the hell do you hawk an effeminate sounding loughie?

6) Why is it a problem that his voice has too much bass? And I’m pretty sure that he’d rather sound like Serius Jones than you.

7) The track is 2:20. He “rapped” for about 45 seconds. Um…step ya bars up.

8) The Rebels didn’t ask for him to dis them. Then again, this isn’t a dis.

I’m done.

♥

Hmmm; I wonder:

What do you think the odds of him comin’ at me sideways are if he happens to see this?

What do you think the odds of me not givin’ a fxck and responding in turn are?

It’s pretty much a sure bet right?

*sigh*

Forgive me; I’m just talkin’ my shxt again.

lol

--LauRenxExCarter

 

Ooh, He So…Artistic [?] Is That the Word I’m Lookin’ For?

*sigh*

I’m still not done wit’ my paper so this one shall be short. Don’t let your eyes or brain rejoice just yet though, I do have somethin’ for y’all to get into.

Kanye, Kanye, Kanye…

What the FXCK is this ish?

Let me finish this paper and maybe, just maybe I’ll have the words for this fxckery later on.

♥

And If You Seek Becky...

*annoyed sigh that’s enhanced by the fact that I’m sick and in a choke a nigga type mood based on the stupidity that’s currently occurring*

What it is y’all, how ya livin’ and and all the other stereotypical things that I could and just might say. How’s life treatin’ ya? Not that I actually care or anything like that, I’m only asking because I have a bit of decency and courtesy about mine self. It’s nice to ask how others are doing.

Not that I’m concerned wit’ niceness, if you read the blog on the reggy you know that I am not sir and/or madam, but I just thought that I’d throw that out there.

ANYWAY, now that the quote unquote niceties are out of the way, I can get back to this blog then go lay my sick ass back down before I use the trashcan next to my bed as the medium with which I will be calling Earl.

*cracks knuckles*

So…Algernod Washington, or as Ren likes to call him, “that short, freak nasty, fake ass “goon” goblin lookin’ muddasucka” Plies has a new album coming out, “Goon Affiliated” , and the lead single, “Becky” is a song about fellatio. Not that we should expect anything less from the King of Goon-Goblin Land, I’m just sayin’.

I hear this gotdamn song in my nightmares—along wit’ His voice but that’s another blog—it gets so much play on the radio. When I hear prepubescent children screamin’ “Gimme that Beckaaaay” not only do I want to slap the ish out of their parents but I wanna go and choke Mr Unfunny Comedian Person Dude because he works for the Lansing station that’s “Number one for hip-hop and R&B”. Which would insult the hell outta me if I was hip-hop, it already irks me as I am a hip-hop fiend but I digress.

Below is the cinematic gem that is Plies' “Becky”. Sit back, relax and catch a contact and when you're done being amazed at the pure genius of the vid, scroll down to keep readin'.

So…a few things I feel the need to touch on:

1) It’s a recession. Yeah, I get that. Ray-Ray, Tyrone and Pookie informed everyone at the last meeting of the Consistently Broke Niggas of America but um…what’s wit’ all these regular ass lookin’ video girls? Like I said, times is hard and that I understand but um…these bxtches look almost as bad as the ones in the "Halle Berry" video by that kid wit’ the natural disaster name that escapes me at the moment.

Typhoon Mike?

Earthquake Jim?

Whateva, you know who I mean.

2) it boggles mine mind to believe that this lady

who bears an uncanny resemblance to my second grade teacher—if she had long hair and didn’t have a permanent bxtch scowl tattooed to her face—gives “Becky” and it hurt my heart to see her dance out of the store like that. Ew.

3) The big, slutty blonde hair…

Kim Zolciak?

I wish there was a close up on her face…wait, if it really is Kim, no I don’t. The spiders that live in her eyelashes might attack me.

4) Since this stupid song has been out, I’m pretty sure that I’ve seen this sign

So ladies—and maybe a few gentlemen, who is Ren to judge?—if you got that ill deep throat, dude’ll work for ya.

5) I hope and pray that I’m not the only one who was disturbed on the soul level by the line of basic and dead ass wrongness at “Becky’s BBQ”. I’m not even screen cappin’ that ish, I refuse to have to relive the mess once more. That chick wit’ the rather unfortunate body shape in the white tank and jeans hurt my feelings wit’ her zillions and baby blue eye shadow. And to the heffa in the fishnet whatever the hell she was wearing lookin’ like she just hopped off her ho stroll for A Pimp Named Ice Water…girl, bye.

6) Why does Plies look the type to be cool wit’ cops like this?

7) I’m not even gon’ speak on the chick who was goin’ for a run in the video wit’ her effed up, oh so unattractive dye job because we know that in the extended cut of the video we get to see her get hit by a Hummer. Naw, I’m playin’, but in all seriousness ladies, if you can’t afford to get your hair dyed either save up for it or have a friend of yours who you trust—not that backstabbin’ heffa precious who stole Raequonathan from you—do it because bad dye jobs are NOT the biz in 09.

8)

Jesus isn’t the only one who wept.

9) Hol’ up…

“Goons” wear pink?

I suppose that if Cam’Ron can so can they

*shrugs*

10) I flat out refuse the life of the soccer mom. Flat out refuse. I can’t with her or her PT Cruiser.

*sigh*

There was so much more that I could speak on, so much more but, ya girl currently has company and the Sausage McMuffin’ that they brought me for breakfast is gettin’ cold.

Rhapsody Needs to Give it Up Already

*big sigh*

So, maybe you’ve noticed the ads on mine blog—btw, feel free to click on ‘em…no, really. Ren insists on your clickage…lol, j/p. But click, okay? lmao—and while I was bored, re-watching the last two vids that I posted, I scrolled down and saw the above.

Hear it first…

Rhapsody? Yeah, y’all are on crack. I’ve had The Blueprint 3 since the day it leaked, the leak master –who is gettin’ on my gotdangnerves [1 word, shout out to Tweekygirlbandit and she knows why lol] because I didn’t shout him out in my last video *rolls eyes*—hooked me up when the one that I spent like half an hour downloading turned out to not work because it was posted by a big ol’ bucket o’Fail. But that’s not the point.

The point is, Rhapsody is killin’ me wit’ the false advertisement right now. Hear it first my ass. I heard that ish last week and IF I decide to buy it it’ll get virtually no play in Chez Ren and will be a $13 coaster.

By the by, like I told the lil ones, if you’re on your third blueprint…

it may be time to hire a new architect.

I’m just sayin’; let that marinate in your spirit while you take a listen to the New Jay and the Old Jay.

I’ll post an actual blog later. Or another vid. I know how much y’all like those lol.

I Was Told of a Boy, Naw, I Was Told of a Man…

Quick question for the hip-hop lover in you:

Why aren’t you up on this yet?

Actually, why did it take me so long to get up on this?

I love music in general but I’m in love with hip-hop. Lately however; I’ve kinda been like “Eh…I’m over it"".

No shade to anyone, but it seems like every other week there’s a new song and dance comin’ out and I’ve watched my beloved lyricism die a slow death in the name of what’s “hot.” I believe that when everything is considered “dope”, “hot” and/or “fire” nothing truly is and I find myself hating the word more and more every day. If at all possible, I avoid using it. Imagine my skepticism when my twit-bro @Lega_c hit me up and told me that I had to take a listen to Hassani Kwess because he's "dope".

Initially, I wasn’t even gonna listen because of my aversion to all things quote unquote dope but Eric convinced me to do so; reminding me of the fact that we have the same musical tastes. Prepared to tell him where he could stick this bit of dopeness if it proved to be anything but, I downloaded Hassani Kwess’ Cross Into the Black EP

I plugged in my Skull Candy’s and had an unexpected eargasm.

The first track “Journeys (The Opening Act)” is a poetic and lyrical gem that has a laid back, organic hip-hop kind of vibe to it. As Kwess told the story of a boy, no, a man who can mentally moonwalk over any premeditated boom box that makes the room rock, I was mentally transported to a poetry slam. As the beat took over, I nodded my head in anticipation of the lyrics to come. Kwess rhymed:

“Electronically he’s Presario

And he sticks with Sonic because he sucks at Mario

No more rings but oh no, don’t die

It’s time to fly…

this man was I”.

Hooked by his delivery—and the pop culture reference—I turned up the volume in my headphones and continued to listen.

The beat switched up as the man himself began to mentally moonwalk over the given track and let the listeners know a bit about himself. Kwess stated that he is a man of soul and that he can’t be touched with a ten foot pole before briefly touching on his smooth demeanor. Later in the track he remarked

“And these ho’s with the whips love how I groove

They keep hittin’ me til I provoke a power move"

and proceeded to lyrically beat up the track. Without getting unnecessarily hype he continued,

“They sit back and peep game while my hands glow

Cuz once I’m goin’ ain’t no tellin’ where my hands go

Up, down, left, right

Now you’re toothless

And then you say

‘Goddamn he’s ruthless’”

Thus began the “Journey”.

Hassani Kwess’ XIB EP is an almost perfect example of why the DMV has next in the hip-hop scene. Whether he’s keepin’ your speakers knockin’ like a “Box of Shellz” or solving a hip-hop whodunit in “Who Stole the Show"?” he does so masterfully. With a guest appearance from Mouse aka The Waldorf Posterboy Kwess challenges his listeners to see if they can rock with him over some insane production courtesy of Mr. Motif of Urban Underdogz on “Electronic”.

With XIB Hassani Kwess shows that the “Quest” he’s been on since he put out D.r.e.a.m. The Mixtape and continued with his sophomore effort The Mixtape's Day Off hasn't been in vain as he shows major growth and greater lyrical dexterity.

To download the

Cross Into the Black EP, click the tracklisting below

For more Hassani Kwess online, be sure to
Follow him on Twitter

visit his blog

and visit his MySpace page

“Love” [for better or worse I still will choose you first]

This is what I sent him.

[oh…about the blue, it just goes with the color scheme of my other blog, I don’t feel like changing it to hot pink right now. Got a lot besides colors on my mind ryte now]

It’s kinda funny how music speaks to and for you sometimes, isn’t it?

I had this idea to do a “mixtape/letter” with some of the songs that really put all of my feelings for you into words and puts whatever the hell it is that we have [btw…is it true that you claim me? Josh kinda let it slip that you do the other day and all I have to say is let a sista know what’s good lol] into perspective. The problem with that whole idea was that the “playlist” would’ve been at least 45 songs long and with every song there would’ve been an explanation and you know how I write. You would’ve been sitting there for like 6 hours listening to music and reading and I’m pretty sure that you don’t have the time or the patience to sit still and go through all of that. I know I don’t have it in me to write it for you.

It’s a good thing that I found one song that says just about everything then, right?

I guess I’m gonna have to break this down for you verse by verse, huh?

Love
So many things I've got to tell you
But I'm afraid I don't know how
Cause there's a possibility
You'll look at me differently

There is a lot that I want to tell you, but I honestly don’t know how to say it in a way that would make sense to either one of us. I’ve tried the direct approach but my words never come out the right way and I end up soundin’ like an idiot. I’ve tried to write it for you but just when I think I have the right words, I realize they aren’t enough then I have to start all over again and that process can take months (as you’ve seen lol). I just don’t know how to tell you that I love you—I’m in love with you—and having you here in my life has been one of the best things to ever happen to me. That I’ve never been happier (and in a weird way sadder) in my whole entire life and I thank God for you everyday or…

Ever since the first moment I spoke your name
From then on I knew that by you being in my life
Things were destined to change

I don’t know how and I’m not entirely sure why, but from the very start of our “relationship” [I’ll call it one only if you do] I knew that things in my life were gonna change and they have. In a good way. I finally stopped hiding the way that I feel, okay, okay, for the most part at least. This is a process that I’m workin’ on. I love the way that I never have to fake anything for you—and by anything I do mean anything *wink wink nudge nudge* lol—and, this is the part that really scares me: you could be the one. The one that that stupid post was written about before I even knew it (that “to the one who gets me in the end” one in case you were confused); the one to make me happiest…or hurt me the most.

But I’ll get to that later on.

Many days I've longed for you
Wanting you
Hoping for the chance to get to know you
Longing for your kiss
For your touch, your feel, your essence

That goes without saying though; you already know how much I want you. Not just in a sexual way—although I will never deny that fact lol—but it goes beyond all that. There are times that I wish I could just be with you. We wouldn’t have to do anything sexual or special, but to just be in your presence, to just touch you, see you face to face would be more than enough for me. *sigh* I really and truly hope that you don’t think that I’m lame for any of the things I’m admitting here. Like

Many nights I've cried from the things you do

Well…that’s not strictly true. I have cried [and I’m a punk for both doing that and admitting it to you] some nights but its only because I’ve

Felt like I could die from the thought of losing you

and that’s the truth.

Do you have any idea what I go through every time I hear that you’re in the hospital?

That first time, last April or May when you were unconscious in the hospital for two weeks? I cried and I prayed every night because I didn’t know whether or not you would live or die. I cried because there were only two things that I could think about: the fact that I might not have gotten the chance to actually tell you that I love you out loud but most importantly, I thought about your daughter Quan. I thought about her not growing up with her dad around and that really made me…I dunno, sad isn’t the word, it went beyond that. You love your little girl with all your heart—which is one one of the many things that made me fall in love with you like I did—and she loves you too and just the thought of her growing up without you or her biological mom around puts me in a bad place.

[was that too weird?]

But when I’m not worried about loosing you due to some accident, I’m worried that I’m gonna loose you because of somethin’ that I did, but like before, that comes later.

I know that you're real
With no doubts and no fears
And no questions

…I do know that you’re real and I know that I can believe you when you tell me that you wont hurt me or anything like that. I don’t doubt that and I don’t question it or you. Not really. It’s me that I keep questioning and doubting.

At first you didn't mean that much to me

That’s a lie, from the very beginning you’ve meant a lot to me. Did I want you to? Hell naw, I won’t lie. Ours is a fucked up situation, but the feelings I have for you have been there basically from the beginning. Might as well let you know that now.

But now I know that you're all I need
The world looks so brand new to me

Hmm…I’m gonna choose not to speak on this part right now. Not because I don’t have anything to say, believe me when I say that I do. I’ll just say that you should know where I stand on this by now and if you’re not sure, just think about everything I’ve ever told you, every letter that I’ve written and sent your way.

Now that I found love
Everyday I live for you
And everything that I do
I do it for you

This isn’t strictly true. I refuse to live my life for someone else especially someone who isn’t living theirs for me, but I do take you into consideration during my everyday activities if that makes sense. I dunno, it probably doesn’t, I guess I’ll have to explain that over the phone some day if ever you should call me again.

What I say is how I feel so believe its true
You got to know I'm true

Well…do you?

Oh.

You’ve noticed that I didn’t add the chorus/hook right? Well, here it is.

Love
So many people use your name in vain

To be clear at this point, I’ve said I loved people in vain, I didn’t know what love was when I did but when it comes to you Quan?

It’s genuine.
Love
Those have faith in you sometimes go astray

I’m not sure what your definition of going astray in a ‘relationship’ is, but when I do it, that’s when I let my insecurities take over and it’s when I make an ass out of myself. As you’ve seen on multiple occasions unfortunately. I know I’ve said this before but it doesn’t hurt to say it again.

I’m sorry.

I do have faith in you; I put all my love ,faith and trust in you from the first time that I admitted to myself that I had fallen in love with you, but you’ll have to be patient with me Quan. I’m not used to this sort of thing. Before you, I had never been involved with a guy who was honest with me about everything. After my past relationships (which I won’t even speak on because I was done so dirty) I stopped expecting honesty. I know, I know. You hate it when I compare them to you and I hate to do it because y’all are apples and oranges I can’t even pear, err, pair y’all but baby…up until you, that was all I knew. I’m not making excuses, but I want you to know that I’m seriously workin’ on this.

I don’t wanna loose you because of my trust/faith issues so I’m tryin’ to loose the issues.
Love
Through all the ups and downs the joy and hurt
There have been ups

[which we have most of the time thankfully]

and there have been downs

[that whole period with your ex? Yeah, that was a major down]

there’s been joy

[the first time you told me that you loved me too]

and there’s been hurt

[but to be fair, most of that was caused by me being insecure. Most, but not all.]

But you know what baby? Even though it seems like we’re riding an emotional rollercoaster sometimes
For better or worse I still will choose you first

I was tempted to walk away in the beginning because I didn’t think that I would be strong enough to do this, to get hurt again. But havin’ you here in my life even though your not here with me has changed me for the better and I don’t wanna go back to the way things were before.

I love you.

That’s why I choose to stay.

That’s why I choose you first.

And he couldn’t respond to this? Couldn’t say…I dunno, something?

♥♥♥

Now I feel the tears welling up again and there’s nothin’ I can do to stop them…

I suck.

*sad face*

Didn't Wanna Have to Do it But I Did it Anyway

*Big dramatic sigh*

Once I had posted my one blog about Gifted bashing his nonexistent skills as a rapper and my retraction soon after, I thought that would be the last time that I would waste my time, energy and wit on Marquis “Gifted” Hall. However, after certain, documented, events, I’ve changed my mind.

Now Gifted, sweetie, buddy ol’ pal ol’ friend of mine, by no means am I sittin’ here, hatin’ on you. No, I got the majority of the hate out of my system when I posted that first blog. What I’m sayin’ here is just in hopes that you’ll soon realize that you aren’t as great…as Gifted as you think you are. I’m saying this as a music lover, critic and one slightly pissed off individual who still hasn’t received any payment for services rendered.

Earlier today, I was chillin’ on MySpace, tryin’ to keep myself from writing a certain ex bitch—I’m gonna hold my proverbial tongue and still my literal fingers because if I write about her here and now, I will go off on a tangent and that’s not what I want right now—when I went to go update my status. After telling the people that actually take the time to read status messages

I refreshed the page and saw

First of all, I was under the impression that no one gave a flying fuck about his apparent absence from MySpace.

Second of all, for those of you unfamiliar with the MySpace lingo, a power whore is essentially a train that you join to get friends. By Mz. Ren’s way of thinking, shouldn’t an artist have people that want to add them because of the quality of their music and not just because they’re trying to increase their friend count?

Thirdly, the same thing goes for showin’ love to someone’s page, you shouldn’t have to request it, you should just get it. I do and frequently at that, but we ain’t talkin’ about me right now.

Because I was in a very bad mood with the whole Ex Bitch situation, I decided to take a few screenshots of his page to show that he was full of shit and that he really isn’t as amazing as he thinks he is.

Screenshot # 1

It was mentioned that in his interview with YoRaps.com (I’m still shaking my head at them for even stooping as low as to feature him in their Next to Blow section) that he had over 250,000 plays of his music. That information ladies and gentlemen is patently false. Don’t believe me? Take a peep at the pic below.

↓↓↓↓↓

So…we were off by what…at least 243,288?

Screenshot # 2

The way he was talkin’ in his interview, one would think that he had legions of fans. If his friend count on MySpace is anything to judge by, that is also incorrect.

↓↓↓↓↓

In reference…

here’s my friend count

↓↓↓↓↓

See also

here’s my view count as compared to his

↓↓↓↓↓

I’m not braggin’, I’m just sayin’.

In closing…

there are—or is that is?—many a smart assed thing that I can say about Gifted, but really? I don’t have the time to sit here and write about him anymore, so I’ll leave you all with this…

[See? I’m not the only one who thinks this way lol. But, to be fair, she could just be saying this because we’re really cool with each other and she doesn’t wanna offend me or anything like that.]

And this…

Separated at birth?

rotflmfao

♥

“I’m not a bitch, I just act like one on days that end in ‘y’”

Gotdamn if I’m not one awesomely amazing individual.

Nah, let me take that back, don’t want people thinking I’m cocky, conceited or anything like that. Then again I can just say that I’m aware of myself and how frickin’ spectacular I am, it’s not a lie. lol, a’ight, I’m really about to stop.

Now, contrary to anything that you may read here on The Life and Times of (the Infamous) Mz. Ren I'm not a bitch. As a matter of fact, I’m one of the least bitchy individuals you will ever meet. That being said, I won’t deny the fact that I act like one on the occasion. Curious as to why?

Simple answer:

Because I can.

That’s right, I act this way because I feel like it dammit. You don’t like it? That's fine by me, I’m at a place in my life where I can say I honestly don’t give a fuck about most people’s opinions. Oh…you caught that most did you? Well, what can I say, there are exceptions to every rule, even this one, and his name is E. [Before anyone asks, no, that’s not his real name, can you honestly name someone who’s entire name is an initial outside of Men in Black? No, I didn’t think so.]

I mention this loser (and I say that outta love so don’t trip) in my various blogs, so it’s only right that I mention him here at least once.

He and I met just over a year ago and have been talkin’ since last March and this man is just…I don’t even know how to describe him to y’all. E is one of the most amazing men that I’ve (n)ever met in my whole entire life and I’m so glad that I went through all the shit that I did to get to know him. To save myself from having to go over the last year of us talking, I’m just gonna say that if you really wanna know, you can read my MySpace Blog (check my Link Spot) for the details. However…

There has been a lot that has happened between us that hasn’t and probably will never be mentioned in a blog (especially one that’s open to the public), like how much it hurt to have to go through some of the stuff that I did for him. Or all the doubts that have run through my mind countless times. Or the many times that I’ve been tempted to give up and walk away so I didn’t get hurt in the end again and all the other things that I can’t help but to think about given our situation. But, since I’m a nice person who is in a particularly good mood today—must be because it’s one week to Spring Break which equals one week to E♥—I will share something that was, up until a moment ago when I decided to do this, open only to him as it was written for E and E alone.

Before you read…
[lol, I've always wanted to write that for some reason]
Way back in June, E I were on the phone havin’ a serious conversation (about a serious pain in my ass, his ex bitch who’s been fuckin’ with me for months on end) when he asked me to write him a letter telling him how much I love him and care about him because I have a hard time expressing my feelings verbally (I can say I love you just fine but for some reason I can't say why or how much out loud), so I tried my best to let my baby know just how in love with him I am. It took me 8 months and what seems like infinite attempts to get it done, but last week on February 20th, I finally finished his letter and sent it to him. I left out a few things because certain things need to be said in person and I’ll be seeing him soon enough.

E read his letter then he sent me a message saying something akin to:

“Wow…You got me blushing Ren! I didn’t know it was like that for you, but I’m glad that it is.”

Which left me feelin' a bit like...um, okay, that's all you have to say? Yeah, okay, I didn’t exactly pour my heart out to him in a blog post—that’s what my trip to Cali is all about—but what I said was so sincere and came straight from the heart so for him to just say ‘wow’?

Yeah, that was not gettin’ it.

We kept messaging back and forth for another twenty minutes or so and while he told me that he can sing [lol, in the letter I told him that I love it when he sings to me knowin’ good and got damn well that he can’t] he didn’t really bring up the letter or what I said in it again. So, I did something that I need to stop doin’. I sat and I speculated about what I said and his reaction or lack thereof as the case is. Then, on Sunday night, I was sitting at my laptop deleting the various things that I’ve written and listening to Drake’s So Far Gone. I had been looking over the various beginnings, middles and endings to E’s letter when I heard “Sooner Than Later” and started crying like a punk because it described exactly how I feel sometimes. I rewrote that part of his letter then I posted it and sent the link to E while explaining why I said what I did and that it was from an old version of the letter.

Which you get to read now.

↓↓↓↓↓

This is one of the songs I want you to listen to. Just pay attention to the first verse then keep reading.

Sometimes, I feel just like the girl he wrote this about.I understand the fact that I’m not your girl and that I’m probably not even the only girl that you’re talkin’ to—I’m not accusin’ you of anything since that’s not my place, I’m just sayin’—but sometimes it does feel like I’m the last thing on your mind or that I’m an afterthought at the very least. I know you love me, you tell me every chance you get, but I don’t need you to tell me something that I already know. What I want from you, what I need is more of your time. That’s all I’m askin’ because baby, I love you. I don’t want us to grow apart then one of us realizes that the other is everything we're missin’—which may or may not be true, who am I to say what you're missin’? Maybe when you finally have the time and "pull it together" (his words, not mine), I wont be there because I moved on to someone who had what I'm askin' you for.That’s not what I want. I think it’s already been established but I guess it wont hurt to say it again:

What I want is you.

But...

I wont be here forever

I hope you realize I've waited this long

But I wont move on

Cuz I don't want no one else

I don't need no one else

So I guess I said all that to say this:

As long as you take the time to show me that this is what you want, that I'm what you want, I'll be here waiting.

Just a lil bit more of your time is all I'm asking for.

Or would I be gettin' out of pocket and actin' above my station if I asked for that?

***

So...it's kinda apparent why I took this out of the letter, right?

lol.

Look, I love you E. Whether I get more of your time or not (although I can't lie, it would be nice to hear from you a little more often. I know your busy but I'm just sayin') that's not gonna change.You know that.

Right?

[Well shit, if you didn't, now you do lol]

♥

Now, being me, I couldn’t leave well enough alone so I had to go and add onto it when I couldn’t sleep the same night that I posted it, but because MySpace won’t let me edit my posts in FireFox—which is borderline retarded is you ask me—I left it in the form of a 697 word (yes, I did count) comment.

After I had done that, I finally got some sleep. Not a lot but enough to ensure that I would be able to function with minimal difficulty once I woke my ass up.

About 6 or 7 hours later, I did something that I’m still kicking myself over:

I called him.

I didn’t expect him to answer his cell since it was 7:30 AM his time, so I was shocked when he picked up sounding all sleepy and sexy like. We talked about his night spent at the hospital (his daughter caught some strain of the flu) and after making sure that they were both alright, we talked about a lot of other things that had nothing to do with why I called him. I’m not sure how exactly, but I eventually transitioned into why I decided to call him.

I told him that I had something that I wanted him to read once he got online, then I asked him if he wanted me to read it to him hoping that he would say no.

He said yes. Like a total spaz.

So, I sat on my couch with my laptop on my knees and played him the song, then read him the excerpt from his letter all the while trying not to cry like a total girl. I did a pretty okay job of keeping the tears at bay until he started talking, but as soon as he opened his mouth to tell me how sorry he was for making me feel like that and that he would make more time for me because he doesn’t want to loose me. When he told me that I am the only girl he’s talkin’ to and that I—along with his beautiful little girl—complete him, I couldn’t stop the tears even though I tried. When he finished making me cry with his sweetness and sincerity—I hate the fact that I’m a total girl when it comes to him—I told him that I wasn’t finished then asked if he remembered how he said that he wished he could see into my head sometimes. When he said that he remembered I read him the comment…then started crying again when told me how much he loves me and just what I mean to him. I’m not gonna rewrite all of that here because it would just make me cry like a punk again plus I’m actually mad at him right now—It’s been 8 effin’ hours and still no response to my “I need to tell you somethin’” txt message. So much for takin’ time out for me right? smh—but it was really touching and it let me know how serious this is to him.

Just before we got off the phone so he could go to class and so I could get ready to go and catch my bus—I have a whole rant to go on regarding public transit and why it ain’t for me that I’ll post soon—I asked him just what was goin’ through his mind when he read my letter. He said that he was speechless for the first time in his life—which I can believe, that nigga has a mouth on him lol—and that I made him feel like a king with that letter. I told him that I meant every word and that he is a king.

My King.

He called me His Queen then he told me he loves me and that he’d call me when he got the chance (which turned out to be the next morning while he was taking his daughter to school).

The next day a couple of hours after we got off the phone after another AMAZiNG conversation, I logged onto MySpace to check my messages and comments and to play Bloodlines, my new favorite addicting MySpace App when I saw this:

I chose to look at my blog comments first thinking that it was another person praising Cam&&Essence

[and no that’s not me bein’ cocky either, C&&E is my most popular blog series]

but was pleasantly surprised to see

Oh yeah, I removed his screen name, E and I both prefer that he remains relatively anonymous in everything that I write, plus, bitches is nosy as a muhfucka.

With my heart in my throat—see, he’s the only one that I’m comfortable with sayin’ stuff like that about, my mind doesn’t normally work in clichés and I try my best not to use them at all costs—I clicked the link and read his comment.

Sweet right?

lol

DAMMiT TO HELL!!

This blog wasn’t even supposed to be about him, especially given the fact that I’m still hella annoyed wit’ his punk ass (on the off chance that you come across this E, this is the way I talk about you when you get on my nerves. It’s your own fault luv lol PLUS, I have a pretty good idea of the way you talk about me when I annoy you so don’t trip) but I guess it is what it is. By my next post I’ll be back at my bitchy best.

I promise.

♥

Gifted—Destined to be Great My Ass!

It usually takes a lot to make me wanna write something bashing someone but this time?

Eh, not so much.

Earlier today when I was on MySpace to check my messages (sidebar: seriously now, I don’t know how many times that I’ve had to put on my page that I’m not on MySpace lookin’ for a man, a fuck buddy or that I refuse to date local niggas. When will niggas get it? Geez) I saw my ex twin (ugh, super long story, goin’ into it now would not be conducive to this blog so really now, what’s the point?) post a status update that made me sit back and wonder how the hell this shit happened. Well, his status was nothin’ important—I don’t even read them anymore because he posts them so frequently and they all say the same thing—his screen name was:

Brian Oneal-Gifted Featured On YoRaps.com

What.

The.

Fuck?

I mean are we forreal? YoRaps.com is a credible website that, up until now, used to feature artists with talent, so how the hell did whack ass, lame ass, no talent havin’ GiFTED end up on there?

Before anyone even thinks that I’m just bashin’ this whack muhfucka (because that’s exactly what he is, ain’t no way around that shit) to bash him, that’s not the reason. The reason that I’m sittin’ here talkin’ my shit—yes, I can admit that’s what I’m doin’, why lie?—is not only because I can, but because I can personally attest to the whackness factor of this lame:

I used to “work” for him. I was the longsuffering (don’t know what it means? Look it up) ‘personal assistant’ to his manager, my ex twin who put in so much work for this whack ass nigga (I rewrote his bio and got him over 5,000 new friends on MySpace which subsequently increased his page views and plays) only to receive NO COMPENSATiON WHATSOEVER. No money havin’ nigga, wasted my time talkin’ his shit like “Yeah Ren, we gon’ get paid pretty soon.” Nigga you was a lie because that was way back in October and I ain’t seen shit yet. Yeah, I don’t work for you anymore, but so?

“You gon’ pay what you owe nigga!”

[lol, sorry, had to have a Riley moment]

So anyways, here is the interview that he did with YoRaps.com complete with my commentary. If you would like to read this bullshit without my commentary then click here

Ever since birth, this man was destined to be great. If you don't believe me, check his biography and you will read just that. Gifted is his name and rhyming and producing is his game. The nineteen year old up-n-coming MC sarcastically claims that he's different and is not normal only because he doesn't fit in, never have and probably never will. Right about now, if you're wondering why, it's because his name Gifted means being different and standing out from the rest. This young man is well on his way to becoming the next big thing in all aspects of entertainment with immediate desires to pursue television and film, aside from music, his ultimate lively hood.

Okay, I’m the one who fuckin’ wrote his biography and I don’t even believe that he’s destined for greatness. Dude is the epitome of a whack MC. His whole style is lame, verses are sooo unoriginal and his flow leaves a lot to be desired. My 8 year old nephew goes harder on the mic than Gifted does and that’s real. Gifted doesn’t fit in, never has and probably never will because even among the whack artists out today (*cough cough* Soulja Boy) he’s not welcome. At least S.Beezy is marketable and could be attractive if you squint hard enough, Gifted looks like the giraffe from the Madagascar movies. What’s his name, Mellman? Once I figured out who it was he reminded me of, I could never watch one of the movies without hearin’ him do one of his irksome ass songs. Oh yeah, and to the author of this piece, here I was thinkin’ that “gifted” meant having great, special talent or ability, not different and/or standing out from the rest. If that’s the definition we’re goin’ by, then dude’s name should be “Oddball” or “Weird Ass Giraffe Lookin’ Nigga”. Maybe that’s just me though. As for him being “ well on his way to becoming the next big thing in all aspects of entertainment with immediate desires to pursue television and film, aside from music, his ultimate lively hood.” if that’s the case, I am hereby foregoing any future trips to the movies or television watching because I refuse to support any industry that would let him be a part of it.

No shame in his game, Gifted informs Yo! Raps that when he first started rapping he wasn't very good, but he never became discouraged. Instead, he wrote better rhymes and eventually perfected his craft, which resulted in having a great vocabulary and the ability to flow over any beat. To gain necessary recognition in the music world, Gifted has been a featured artist on many underground artists and DJ mixtapes, has released a sentimental signature song, Where Ever You Are dedicated to finding that special someone, and is now prepping to release a new album.

No shame in his game? Really? I mean, we actually decided to go there with that one? I’m sorry, but certain outdated phrases (such as that one) should not be used. EVER. There is a reason that it died away like it did, there will be no robbing of the grave to use this one again. Now, Gifted, you have apparently been rapping for many years and I’m sorry to tell you sweetie: you still haven’t perfected your craft. You’re vocabulary is nothing stellar (let’s see those SAT scores, shall we?) and the way you flow over your own beats sucks so believe me when I say you haven’t mastered any ability that you think you may have. And release a new album? When all my friends out in Jersey who have heard of you said your mixtape sucked? Is that really a great idea?

When we asked what's with the delay, he elaborated, "I'm taking a slow process with it, because I want it to be perfect. I'm doing a lot of research on some things that will help with the creative process. No release date is set, but when I drop it, I swear it will change the face of Hip-Hop without a doubt." End of story, we'll stop here, because there's no denying that he's gifted.

I’m asking this: who the hell cares about the delay on his album? As far as I know, the known world is rejoicing because even though it’s on life support, hip hop is still alive as long as we can keep this whack muhfuckas album off the streets. As for changing the face of hip hop? Oh yeah, it most definitely would, no doubt about that one. It would be like givin’ the game a botched Tijuana face lift.

Yo! Raps: Without hesitation, let's get right into it. Your bio states that ever since birth you were destined to be great. We must admit, that's a powerful statement, and if you may, tell us exactly how great.

Gifted: [Laughs] Being gifted means being different, standing out from the rest and I feel as though I'm just that. When you hear my music, or just being around me, you will see that I'm not normal. I don't look at things normally, as crazy as that may sound. When I was younger, I often tried to fit in, but as I grew older I began to notice that I do not. I was told often times by my mother and other family members that I will never fit in, I will always stand out and when you listen to my music you see just that. So me saying that since I was born I was destined to be great, that's just me stating true facts.

No nigga, we already went over the definition of the word “gifted”, that’s not the correct definition dumb ass.When I heard your music—the few times that I could stand to listen to it that is—I just saw that you were a young man who had far too much time on your hands and a few too many people lying to you saying that you actually have talent. When you were younger, you tried to fit in but of course you couldn’t due largely to the fact that you bare an uncanny resemblance to a CGI giraffe. You have apparently gotten used to this as you don’t mind standing out for all the wrong reasons. You saying that you were destined for greatness is wishful thinking on your part. Nothing more, nothing less.

Yo! Raps: We also read that you're the only boy amongst a host of sisters, and that you were brought up in a broken home. However, unlike many others, you never let the minor obstacles take you down the wrong path. We applaud you for that, but how has all this positively contributed to your music, and why?

Gifted:That has helped a lot in my music, because I'm able to reach all different types of audiences. Not every listener can agree with rappers talking about drugs and killing people (even though every rapper who talks about it 9 times out of 10 doesn't live it), but many people can feel what I say. They understand the grind, they understand the hustle even though it may have not been like most.

All I have to say on this part is: Nigga you are full of shit.

Yo! Raps:At the age of six you followed in the footsteps of your father and began drumming. At seven you began to play the piano. Gradually, you became more serious about your music and began performing at functions, spending Sundays playing the drums and the piano for your church. Around age eleven, you went on to make beats on the desks at school and watched your classmates rhyme to them. While growing up performing, when was that moment you said, "I really like this, this is for me, this is what I want to do?"

Gifted: The moment I knew it was for me was when I recorded my very first song and let my friends hear it. I saw their reaction and heard the responses I was getting and then I realized that I may just have a future in this. Recording and performing is like breathing to me. If I wasn't able to do neither one, I feel as though I wouldn't be able to stay sane. I told my mother when I get my first big check, besides buying jewels and a car, I'm investing in a studio and I'm gonna live there.

Gifted, sweetie, are you sure that your friends aren’t your enemies in disguise? I’ve heard your newer songs and since you’ve supposedly gotten better, it makes me wonder just how bad you were in the beginning. BTW, I’m gonna have to ask that you give me the names of these niggas so I know who not to ask to tell me how I look in an outfit or with a new hairstyle. Recording and performing is like breathing to you? Do you walk around with an oxygen mask then? Or perhaps you live inside an iron lung? I’m willing to risk you going insane if you don’t record and/or perform again and dude, really? You’re gonna do the whole new money thing and buy yourself some jewels and a car when you get your first big check? Well, well, well, if that idea isn’t as original as all of your verses. Oh, in case you couldn’t tell, I meant that the idea wasn’t very original at all, do try to keep up.

Yo! Raps:It's told that that when you first started rapping you weren't very good, but you never gave up, you just kept trying. You then came up with different, better rhymes and continued to improve. What was the potion to improving your craft, and how did it constructively help?

Gifted: Rapping isn't something you think about doing overnight, even though most people do. You have to dedicate yourself to doing it. When I was younger, I often read the dictionary before I went to sleep and when I woke up. I would then write a rhyme using those words. I would also turn on the radio and freestyle to whatever song was on. Now years later that has helped a lot. I now have a great vocabulary and I'm able to flow over any beat you give me and I'm still, but even more dedicated than I was then.

And again I say: nigga you are full of shit. From the way you were talkin’ before in your previous non-stellar version of your Bio, it seems like you only decided to start rappin’ because that’s what all your classmates were doin’. Isn’t that sorta-kinda-almost like swag jackin’? Doin’ somethin’ that everyone else is doin’ just to do it? Hmm…methinks it is. Again, the originality factor here is staggering. As for you reading the dictionary before you went to bed, nigga you’z a lie, you stole that shit straight outta Akeelah and the Bee, be forreal. If you had been reading the dictionary nightly before you went to bed, you would be fuckin’ untouchable right now. As it is, I would eat you in a freestyle and I don’t even rap. I can assure you that my vocabulary is waaayyyy better than yours is and always will be. Crack open a Webster’s and get like me.

Yo! Raps:Now, at the young age of nineteen, you not only rap, you also produce many of your own tracks. How different is rapping verses producing, and which of the two gifts are you most intrigued with?

Gifted:I feel as though they are somewhat similar, because rapping you have to be able to be creative and that is the same with producing. With both you start from nothing and then you build on it, but I'm equally intrigued with both, because I love the outcome from both. Hearing the finished product of the beat I created, or seeing someone rap my lyrics from one of my songs, both are a great feeling.

All I have to say is that the only time I could think of that someone would be rapping the lyrics to one of his whack ass songs would be when they're giving an example of what NOT to rap like. I dunno, maybe thats just me.

Yo! Raps: To gain necessary recognition in the music world, you've been a featured artist on many underground artists and DJ mixtapes such as DJ Reef, King Records, 5th Street Fam, and DJ Bigg L. Your mixtape appearances has helped you develop a dedicated fan base in and outside of your home state, New Jersey. How much recognition did you gain as an artist, and did it take your music career to that next desired level?

Gifted:I gained a nice amount of recognition from doing those things, but I gained even more from promoting myself; putting myself out there. Myself and my team I work with are really big on promotion. It really didn't take me to the next level, it basically just put more information on my resume.

See...that's the funny thing about his recognition or lack thereof. Back in October when I started "working" for this lame, I called up my boy Dro who stays out in East Orange if he had ever heard of Gifted and um….he hadn’t. I asked another friend who stayed in another part of Jersey if he had heard of him, same damn thing. So I guess that what I’m tryin’ to say is that apparently his self promotion isn’t workin’ that well.

Yo! Raps: You have well over 250,000 plays of your music, and over 1,000 free downloads of your song, Where Ever You Are on MySpace.com. You have also been ranked among the top ten New Jersey artists on MySpace countless times. Congrats, but reading those numbers, are you at all surprised, does it make you fully satisfied, and/or is it a naturally expected result?

Gifted: I'm really not surprised, because myself and my team work hard and so that is just a minor milestone we've reached. I'm not satisfied, but I'm happy about it and we plan on taking them numbers through the roof.

Nigga, it's called an increaser, thats how you got that many plays and it doesn't really count if you sit at home and download your own song over and over again. Sorry to break it to you.

Yo! Raps: What was the initial inspiration behind your signature song, Where Ever You Are? Is it a special dedication to a higher being, an ex-lover, a family member, your money, maybe even your pet(s) [laughs]?

Gifted: [Laughs] Wow, that song had a lot of meaning behind it. I wrote that at a time in my life where I felt as though there wasn't any female out there for me. I was told my expectations were set too high. So when I wrote that I was really just trying to express how I felt about not finding the right female and truth be told, I received a lot of offers after I put that song out [laughs].

Okay, to the author, to his pet? Are we for-fuckin'-real? I mean anyone with ears and a half working brain would just…nah, it ain’t worth it.

Yo! Raps: How far do you think you've come as an artist since your first solo mixtape, The Paper Chase, and why do you think so?

Gifted: I feel as though I have come a long way. I have grown as an artist and also as a man. I've had a lot more experiences in my life that helps me create more music. I feel this way, because if you compare the music from then to my music now you will see the growth and elevation.

You may have come a long way but trust and believe that you have an even farther way to go because if what you have now is elevation and growth, I would hate to see you at your lowest point.

Yo! Raps: Word is that you're now currently promoting your new music, and is scheduled to release an album with no definite release date. How is the promotion coming along, and have you decided on a release date yet? Are there any familiar names on the album?

Gifted: The album is coming! I'm taking a slow process with it, because I want it to be perfect. I'm doing a lot of research on some things that will help with the creative process. No release date is set, but when I drop it, I swear it will change the face of Hip-Hop without a doubt.

You already know where I stand on him changing the face of hip hop, we might as well fly it down to Tijuana right now and ask him to stop threatening the world with an album.

Yo! Raps: So much is up for grabs, but what's your ultimate dream in the Rap game? Do you see yourself doing this for the rest of your life?

Gifted: What makes me different then most rappers in this game is that I'm so versatile. I'm not planning on rapping for the rest of my life. I'm currently producing, and also song writing. I'm writing R&B, Pop, and even Gospel so I feel as though my place in the music industry is somewhat set, but I don't see myself rapping 10 years from now. If I'm rapping 10 years from now it will only be because it's what my fans want.

No sweetie, most rappers claim versatility so I suggest you sit still and think long and hard about the shit that comes out of your mouth for future interviews. You're just fine as a producer, as a matter of fact I like the majority of your beats, but you should chill with working on so many genres of music. You'll just get confused and you're music will get worse than it already is. We can't have that, my ears bleed enough listening to you as it is and I don't have anymore biohazard waste bags for all my bloody Q-Tip's. As for fans, I'm sure that the two you have now will probably just fade away ten years from now. I hope to God you aren't still rapping.

Yo! Raps: Would you ever consider crossing over to Television/Film? If yes, are you prepared for the whole lights-camera-action thang [laughs]?

Gifted: I'm actually in the process of getting in contact with casting directors and film directors, because I'm not gonna limit myself to just music, I'm in the industry to build a legacy and I want to do that in every aspect.

Um...yeah...I think that the only parts a casting director would have for him would be giraffe # 2 in the third Madagascar movie. I'm just sayin'.

And thus ends the interview and along with it, my commentary. Yeah, I’m not gonna front, I recognize that I was on the harsh side of things, I don’t give a fuck. I’m gonna close this one with this, something that he said his own damn self:

↓↓↓↓↓

[if you can’t read it, he said “I’m convinced hip-hop is in a state of depression”]

I agree muhfucka and you’re one of the ones keepin’ it like that

♥