Monday, November 16, 2009

May Ye Barbie Bxtches Burn in a Mattel Hell

Howdy and how be thee folks. Here’s to hoping it was a beautiful day in your respective neighborhoods. In mine? Twas cold as a witch’s titty…if she was standing in an ice chest locked in a deep freezer in the middle of Antarctica. It’s fxcked up that it’s usually a good 10 degrees warmer outside my house than it is inside chez Ren. Blame it on poor insulation if you like but I’m choosing to blame it on Tyrone, The Spirit of Gangsta Homo Thugs Past. That bxtch nigga hid my effin’ Snickers, probably ate that shxt. Fxckfacedbastardtard, get on my dang nerves.Word to Tweekygirlbandit as she knows exactly what I’m talkin’ about.

Anywho, right now I’m sittin’ in Positive Psychology, bored outta mi frickin’ cabeza, starin’ at the cup that my white mocha came in, wishing that there was something besides the wrapper from my blueberry muffin’ in it.


I’m hungry as a muhfxcka right now, so guess what? I’m not even gonna blog this time. This post hath been jacked from my [*cough*] awesome [*cough*] graphic designing sis PoloBandit and her blog. So…all you Barbie, Lewinsky, Hippie, Hoe ass Harajuku Slutpieces—I say that since I don’t really give a gotdamn about ya names. Sorry, just bein’ honest.—can direct your criticisms toward her. Let’s see if she’s lucky enough to get bog comments from you stingy fxckfaces.

Oh yeah, the extra emphasis is my own, just to let y’al know that this is how Ren feels too.

Let’s get into it.

oo, she irketh mine soul. Ren's words, not Polo's

First and foremost, This whole 'Barbie, Minaj, Harajuku' thing. Why? Because a female rapper comes out of nowhere along with Lil Wayne, every girl wants to be a Minaj, Barbie, Lewinksy whatever? Three - fourths of these females today have NO IDEA of what the word "Harajuku" even MEANS. SMH at that. Nicki Minaj is probably the fakest most plasticized character walking this planet (after Lil Kim of course.) She has fake boobs, her ass is fake, she got work done on her nose, she really IS a 'Barbie'.

 WHY are females trying SO HARD to be someone that isn't even HERSELF?

What kills me is that so many young girls/women are walking around wanting to be like her. Taking pictures in her poses, dressing like her, even going so far as to change their names on Facebook, MySpace, Twitter, etc to those stupid names worn by her. Bet you fool ass females don't even have the common sense to notice that calling yourself "Lewinsky" basically is saying that you give head. Duh.

Why would any self respecting female want to be labeled as such? No one is bashing Nicki, i myself 'used' to like her music, until everybody hopped on the bandwagon. But

 NEVER have i EVER wanted to be her or even LIKE her.



Another topic:

"Fake Pocahantas/Hippie Bishes"

L M A O .  See. . . i know a good 3,576,583,068 of you females are going to get mad but its too bad, because i don't care :)

[neither does Ren. Just to put that out there]

Anywho - Someone PLEASE tell me WHEN it became cool to walk around w| your bra strap headbands all tight around your head, damn near cutting off the circulation to your brains?

I know a lot of females get excited when they slap on their headbands, sew in their tracks, throw on those long ass skirts, and walk around like you just spent a G on your outfit knowing you purchased it in Irvington Center. Actually it's not really where you purchased your clothing. Anyone can put on some nice decent clothes, but it really is your environment that sums you up.

A girl can wear ripped jeans, leather jacket and a headband in Summit or Short Hills Mall even. And another girl can wear the same exact outfit downtown Newark or Irvington Center. Guess who looks more of a Hoodbooger?

[ ♫ Jeopardy Music starts playing ♫ ]

Thats Riiiiiight. You guessed it. The girl downtown or in Irvington Center.

Why? Because of her surroundings. It does not matter what you wear. Its all on your location. Ever notice when you go to Short Hills Mall? Aren't there a lot of white girls walking around - a lot of them looking a Mess? Hair not done. Hoodie, sweatpants and Uggs or something like that. Does anyone say anything about them, looking like 'Hoodboogers'? No. because they're Not in the 'Hood'. Now have a black female do that. She would be torn to shreds with the outside commentary.

So ladies, if you think that you are stepping outside the box with your 'white gear'. Guess what? You're NOT. Because you're still being stereotyped as the ghetto hood girl coming out of wherever you are from. Yes it does sound harsh. Deal with it. Womp.

Listen. Stop sucking the Hippe Look. You all killed it. Its 2009, and MOST of you were born like just last night. You don't know good music. You all probably still think that Lil Wayne is God and walk around saying 'Burrr'.

Well guess what; Wayne is in jail and so is Gucci. Wayne has a bagillion kids and Gucci is just . . Gucci. Ew.
S T O P . Loosen up the tight headbands . Take a deeeeeep breath . And inhale some sense.


Another thing: By calling yourself Barbie’s you foolish bxtches you, you’re ultimately setting yourself up to get played, much like the toy whose moniker you’ve taken on. Think before you jump on the bandwagon why don’t ya?

Anywho, time for my tracks of the day.

First up, we have another one from Darren Hanible, “Steez Machine” off of his Bliss mixtape


Next, we have “Electronic” by Hassani Kwess and Mouse aka The Waldorf Posterboy off of Kwess’s Cross Into the Black EP

And last but not least, “Nite Life” by my big bro Torkaveli, lil bro Lega-c and Kid Cudi off of The SmarTrip Chronicles

Listen to the music. Follow the artists. Enjoy yourself and thank me for the eargasm.

I’m out.


Aneisha+ said...

The stuff you were talking about chaps my ass too!

I mean yeah its all fine and fantastic when you like some of that stuff but when you start making life altering decisions from it, its just plain stupid.

Posing = no!
Unoriginality = no!
Living up to unrealistic standards of a woman = f**k no!
Calling yourself a Harajuku Barbie = HELL-the-F**K-NO!

Ashley Nicole said...

hey hey heyyy i got a shout out and whooot cuz this is my sissys wonderful blog post juhs reposted on another wonderful blog. go us ! haha