Math isn't my thing.
Don’t know about ‘em? Get familiar.
Yeah, that’d be Ren.
Nope, not really…
I had to do it again…
That’s right, another video.
Now, I think that I was just a tad too hype when I was shooting a little while ago because every time I opened my mouth to speak, absolute gibberish would pop out. Which isn’t all that different than what usually happens when I open my mouth, but I was all over the place on those vids. Literally. There was one of me jumping up and down on my bed and another of me throwing ish around the room.
Anyways, decided that I should only do shout outs and even that got out of hand smh.
Oh yeah, download the track that's playin' in the background and check out everyone that I shouted out while you're at it
Before I hear any nonsense from some idiotard face that would cause me to go the eff off, I forgot people. Sheesh. There are a lot of y’all that get touched by my awesomeness. I’ll get you next time
I tried y’all, I really, truly did. But it was just so hard. In the end…I had to give up. And I never give up.
But I bet you can’t do it either.
An actual post comin’ soon, might shoot my own vid tonight on the eve of my braces removal
Actually, it’s 4:26 but how stupid does “I Only Have Four Minutes and Twenty Six Seconds to Write a Blog” sound? Correct answer:
Extremely stupid even.
Anyway, I’m tryin’ somethin’ new. If I like it, I’ll keep doin’ it. If I don’t like it, I may randomly get bored and decide to try it again. I don’t know yet.
The rules to this are simple:
Just like Madonna and Justin only had four minutes to save the world, I’ve got four minutes to write a blog. Duh. When whatever it is that I’m using as a timer stops, I stop.
So, “Solo Dolo” by Kid Cudi is cued up and all ready to go and my four minutes—and twenty-six seconds—start…now.
I do a lot of crazy shit. Well, I wouldn’t call it crazy but you might. Why? Because you’re a bunch of haters, that’s why, but eh, I digress. For now.
I’ve said it before but I’ll say it again:
It’s the quote unquote crazy ish that I do that helps me to hold onto what’s left of my sanity. You may think that that’s weird and/or juvenile but
1) I don’t give a gotdang about what you think; who the eff are you to me?
2) Doin’ the things that I do is the only way that I feel anything remotely close to normal.
I’ve been through a lot in my twenty years. Been through some ish that some of y’all would never be able to survive, yet here I am. I’m still makin’ it through. Even though it hurts and like hell at that. Failure is not an option for me.
So my weirdness is an escape. The crazy things I do help me to momentarily
I decided to tip this troutmouthedbottomfeedinheffa—1 word—out of the seat that rightly belongs to me?
Right now I’m sittin’ here in African History—yeah, yeah, I know, I should be paying attention in class but I have the lecture outline and believe it or not, I am taking notes. Hmph.—and once a-effin’-gain, this punk bum buster is in mine seat. like I said last time, she knows that between the hours of 10 AM and 12 noon on Mondays and Wednesdays the fourth seat on the right side of the room nearest to the wall socket under the world map belongs to one LauRen Elizabeth. AKA me. Why must she continue to act as though she doesn’t know what’s really good?
One day soon she shall see that Ren is not the one to be trifled with. I won’t tip her out of the seat. Today at least. I may just trip her when class is over though…no. That would be mean…
While I sit here in class taking notes on the reasons behind Portugal’s rise as a maritime power, I’m gonna throw up a random pic that I took this morning before I left my house for the bus—which was late.
Awkward ass angle, I know but dammit I’m cute. Peep the new sexy specs. By the way, in case you were wondering, yes, I had to unleash my inner geek and wear a Marvel t-shirt with Storm, the Phoenix and Sue Storm of the Fantastic Four on it.
I’ll take more pix later, gotta peep my shoes (:
I laugh and joke all the time but don’t you think for a second that I don’t have issues that I’m working through because I do. I’m in the fight of my life and I honestly don’t know if I’m going to win or lose. Winning is everything and it feels like I’m consistently losing and if I lose…I lose myself. Don’t get it twisted, I’m not nor have I ever been suicidal, but If I lose I’ll die in a completely different way.
I don’t want people to worry about me and I don’t like people all in my business so, I laugh and often at that. I crack jokes, I make fun and I live this fucked up life of mine to the best of my abilities.
Why I felt the need to write this…I don’t know but there you have it.
*sighs and rolls eyes*
Bitches play too gotdang much y’all, I swear fo’ BOB that bitches are gon’ be the death of Ren. I don’t need a crystal ball to see that ish either; I’m predicting it right now. And when it’s time for me to be buried—in my Easter best thank you ma’am—I want my tombstone to read:
Here lies LauRen
The girl who loved…
and got done in by those damn slutfacedhobagslorebuckets
May she rest in peace
Yeah…you’re right. That is kinda long. Guess they’ll have to use like a 5-point font or I’m gonna have to invest in a really large tombstone. Hmm…decisions, decisions.
Take a peep at the ish that’s gone send me to mine grave.
This heffa is Pee Are Ee Gee In Ay In Tea PREGNANT. Why in the name of Similac powder, breast pumps and pampers did this bitch think that this shit is alright? Someone answer me that shit. And why the Eff You See Kay FUCK is her cousin the one that is taping this fuckery? Somethin’ ain’t right wit’ this shit right here y’all. Please notice how this nigga is egging her, making her twerk harder if you will. But you know. He’s her cousin…I guess this is just cousinly love right?
*crickets sound in the distance*
All I have left to say is that I hope her baby pops out of her womb and proceeds to strangle the mother. Moving on…
her tats are random as hell. What in the world? I’m just all around confused right now.
*sigh* there are more examples. a lot more, but I’m on my way out the door so…layta.
a’ight, I’m about to take my ass to sleep since I have African History and Cultural Anthropology tomorrow in the morning but this I have to post before I go and get some rather unneeded beauty sleep.
[click for full-sized pic]
This was taken from one of the videos that I posted yesterday and that
[say it out loud, you’ll get it]
"Big Brother" of mine went and used ish all outta context and UGH. I’ma kick him in the eye when I make it out to the DMV.
TorkalinaBallerina [1 word]
You’ve been warned.
So, maybe you’ve noticed the ads on mine blog—btw, feel free to click on ‘em…no, really. Ren insists on your clickage…lol, j/p. But click, okay? lmao—and while I was bored, re-watching the last two vids that I posted, I scrolled down and saw the above.
Hear it first…
Rhapsody? Yeah, y’all are on crack. I’ve had The Blueprint 3 since the day it leaked, the leak master –who is gettin’ on my gotdangnerves [1 word, shout out to Tweekygirlbandit and she knows why lol] because I didn’t shout him out in my last video *rolls eyes*—hooked me up when the one that I spent like half an hour downloading turned out to not work because it was posted by a big ol’ bucket o’Fail. But that’s not the point.
The point is, Rhapsody is killin’ me wit’ the false advertisement right now. Hear it first my ass. I heard that ish last week and IF I decide to buy it it’ll get virtually no play in Chez Ren and will be a $13 coaster.
By the by, like I told the lil ones, if you’re on your third blueprint…
it may be time to hire a new architect.
I’m just sayin’; let that marinate in your spirit while you take a listen to the New Jay and the Old Jay.
I’ll post an actual blog later. Or another vid. I know how much y’all like those lol.
People *side eye to @Torkaveli* were complainin’ about not bein’ able to see my vids, so here ya go, another one from ya girl via You-Tube
Yes, yes, y’all…
Yeah, I took it there, you got a problem? Solve it. Or I’ll beat that bitch wit’ a bottle…
Well, I shouted ‘em out in my vid, but now you know how to find ‘em lol.
“Electronically he’s Presario
And he sticks with Sonic because he sucks at Mario
No more rings but oh no, don’t die
It’s time to fly…
this man was I”.
“And these ho’s with the whips love how I groove
They keep hittin’ me til I provoke a power move"
“They sit back and peep game while my hands glow
Cuz once I’m goin’ ain’t no tellin’ where my hands go
Up, down, left, right
Now you’re toothless
And then you say
‘Goddamn he’s ruthless’”