I’m Dreaming of a Black Kwanzaa

Before I even get into my introduction, just wanted to let y’all know that this isn’t about Kwanzaa as I don’t celebrate the holiday and this isn’t about why I don’t celebrate the holiday. This is just me being my usual smart alecky and rather brilliant, word playing self. If you are indeed looking for info on Kwanzaa, click…here.

*breathes deep and heaves a heavy sigh of relief*

If you’re reading this, you too have survived the holidays. Since you’ve managed to pull yourself away from your various games, the systems they belong to and your other distractions, take this time out to give yourself a pat on the back. Oh, feel free to gather what remains of your scattered brain cells, a dictionary and an accompanying thesaurus. I make no promises, but there is a very real chance that I’ll use more of those “big”, multi-syllabic words that I’ve become known for.

So, how was everyone’s Chrismahanukwanzakah? Oh…you didn’t get that official Red Ryder carbine-action 200-shot range model air rifle that you were askin’ Santa for? Suck it the eff up and make due; you woulda shot ya eye out anyway kid.

As for me, myself and Ren, my Christmas pretty much rocked. Emphasis on the pretty much.

I was glad to see that “daddy dearest” (*side eye*) had finally gotten it right. The jewelry box, locket and cash that the Sperm Donor gave me weren’t addressed

To: LauRen E!
[T.S.D. is quite fond of exclamation points. Methinks that’s where Boogie get’s it from]
From: Dad and El Jefe

That shxt used to drive me crazy when I was younger. That—*uses term loosely*—woman doesn’t even think that I’m that man’s child; the only gift she’d like to give me would be a paternity test. But that boys and girls is the fuel that shall be added to the conflagration that is my varied and expansive list of daddy issues. That and so much more shall come up in the not so distant future. Let’s continue with the here and now. Or would that be the there and then? These events already happened; hmmm…

As always, Mom came through for ya girl. She got me six or seven sweaters, a few pairs of leggings, a key necklace and she even made sure that I was infamous down to the shoes when she got me these

 
Yes, yes y’all. Those do indeed match the colorway of The (Infamous) Life. I’ve had my eyes on these for months now, I was gonna buy them when I saw them but…living (infamously) doesn’t come cheap, let me tell ya. There’s the cost of public transportation, bills, food, basic forms of fashion, school. I’m livin’ the lifestyle of a broke, fabulous and infamous individual, but regardless of that, twas only a matter of time before I got my hands on them.

My family and friends also contributed to Operation: Phat Girl Phresh with the gifting of bath, body and lip-care products and all the gift cards and cash they sent my way. Now, don’t get it twisted. I love and appreciate everything that I was blessed to receive, but even as I write this, I can’t help but to think about the proposition I was approached with earlier and the gift that’s been sitting on my dresser since I finished it and the person that it’s for. My lawyer cousin who lives out in California asked if Boogie and I would like to visit her for a week or two next summer and of course the very first thing that I thought of was Him. I just…
*sigh*
[I miss Him. So much.]

No matter though. Time for me to slip on these Betty Boop pajamas, go out to the living room and finally set up my Wii.