Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Thou Shalt Not Wear it if it’s Not in Thine Size

Before anyone thinks that I’m goin’ after plus sized chicks, let the record show that I myself am a size 18 and I don’t care who likes it. Dress size aside, chances are good to better than great that I’m a better person than you so don’t think that you can judge me on my waist size.

Commandment Two:
If the shirt does not fit, you must ah…QUIT tryin’ to squeeze yo’ ass into it

Looking like ten pounds of oranges stuffed into a five pound sack of flour is not a good look.
Ladies, can we please start wearing clothes that fit our bodies and body types? Please?
Yes, that graphic tee may just be the cutest thing you’ve ever seen. It may even go with those two sizes too small shoes that you just had to get because they were on sale and they happened to be the last pair in the known world, but sweetie, if you know that shirt is four sizes too small, don’t even think about tryin’ it on. You can stop wit’ the little lies that you tell yourselves too and don’t sit there and act like you don’t know what I’m talkin’ about because I know that you do. Tryin’ to psych yourself out wit’ some “Well, I wear a 2x and that’s a little big on me, maybe I’ve been buying my clothes too big. Maybe I can fit this XL shirt and pull it off.”
The last thing you wanna do is go Hulk in the dressing room at Rainbow and rip through some cheaply made t-shirt.
Stop. That. Shxt.
Matter of fact, if you wear anything over a size 12, stay the fxck outta Charlotte Russe, Wet Seal, most Deb’s and Dots and don’t even think about tryin’ to find an outfit in your size or a pot of gold at Rainbow. Your best friend may be a size six and can comfortably fit all the clothes in there, but sweetie, you can’t. Don’t even try. The end result will most likely have you looking like you’re a bakery display case with the muffin top and rolls that you’ll have on display in a too tight outfit from some store that carries clothes designed for people half your size. Instead, you should help your bestie pick out an outfit for her then head on over to the nearest Torrid, Lane Bryant or Avenue and find something for you to wear.


Anonymous said...

sooooooooooooo tru from @SyNnSeRiOuS

ms. Zuri Vuitton said...

*WEAK* @ "it may even go with those two sizes too small shoes"

may iSuggest you find a picture of a buick-sized heffa inna too tight tank-top to go along with this post ! LOL