Friday, January 22, 2010

My Conscience Called in Sick Again

Which explains why I’m posting the following video and why we’re all about to go to hell for it. See, it’s a Friday night and as usual, I’m stuck here at the crib. I just got off the phone with my Twubby who’s gonna get kicked in the eye for making fun of my speech patterns and calling me yellow and I’m now chillin’ out maxin, relaxin’ all cool in my room and ruling over my queendom as the Phresh Princess of Lansing and The Surrounding Areas. Needless to say, Your Royal Adorableness, The (Infamous) One I is bored as all hell. So, I decided to snoop around that rancid cesspool of fxckery filled clips known as YouTube and I found…well, you take a look at it.

I was barely fifteen seconds in when I started shedding clothes because I could feel the flames of Hell licking at my soul as I watched in awe and thunderstruck amazement. This isn’t the first time that I’ve seen Pedro, no ma’am, but this is the first time I’ve ever seen him…dance and to be honest? This shxt left me gobsmacked.
Look, I’m not hatin’ on the physically handicapped. I don’t have the time nor the patience to deal with all the people who would come for my head if I were to do that, no. I’m not even hatin’ on Pedro because it had to take guts—why did I wish to be bad and say “but not legs”? Bad Ren, bad—to do that and my quote unquote able bodied ass isn’t even willing to do it. As a matter of fact, I’m not hating at all. I’m just a rather bored individual who happened to stumble upon this video during my foray for fxckery earlier. Don’t waste the brain cells that you can’t afford to waste getting mad at me. Instead, watch Pedro check up on it. If you actually allow yourself to listen to the lyrics of the song as he dances and permit yourself to wonder just what one could grab on him, you’re going to hell and I along with you because I wanted to know the exact same shxt.

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