If Ignorance Is Bliss; You Must Be the Happiest Person I Know [Updated!]

I wonder how many people are gonna think that this title is about them, get pissed off and decide not to read? Hmm…

*rolls eyes*

Oh well. If you wish to believe that I’m sitting here blogging about and taking shots at you while I'm freezing my marginally cute ass off then please sir and/or madam, go right ahead. Persuasive as I am, I can’t convince you of something that you don’t wanna believe no matter how hard I try so if you think that I’m takin’ a shot at you, do what ya does and keep it movin’.

*shrugs*

Anyway, what it is, what it look like and damn if I don’t need to think up some other stereotypical nonsense to greet y’all with. That’s gettin’ old. How is everyone doin’ today?
Well, depending on the answer that I hope you didn’t say out loud seeing as this is a blog post and I’m not technically talking to you:
”That’s good”

or

“That’s too bad, hope it gets better for ya.”

As for how I’m doin’ on this marvelously cold inside of my house type of day, consider my mood to be:
”meh”

I’ve got a whole chorus line of people in hooker heels doin’ the Chicken Head, A-Town Stomp and The Hustle on my last good nerve and once more, if I were to say shxt I’d be the one in the wrong. Which makes absolutely no sense to Ren seeing as everybody, they momma and their brothers baby-momma’s next door neighbors drug dealers girl on the side will be quick to tell me that I’m doin’ somethin’ to piss them off. But no matter. On to the blog.

♥

Along with H1N1 and the common cold, stupidity is in the air this season. Get ya face masks bxtches, you don’t wanna catch any of those! Especially not the stupidity. They’ll be able to come up with a cure for the cold before they come up with a cure for that shxt.

lol.

In all seriousness though, there do seem to be a lot of ignorant and stupid people out and about on these interwebnets and guess what? Not only do I have screen caps to prove it but I have commentary too.

Yay!!

I was on FaceBook last night answering my messages and tryin’ to ensure that my lil sis Tweek didn’t beat my score at Plock when I witnessed and got involved in the fxckery pictured below.

By the way, you may have to click on the image to read it all, may be just a smidgeon too wide and wont fit in the margins.

 Be a man and run the relationship

What.

The.

FUCK.

As you can clearly see, I had somethin’ to say on that mess but then my Twitter Hubby went and acted an ass by saying what he said.

Now, y’all know me. I couldn’t let what he said be the end of it so here’s the rest of the convo.

I know I am. Hmph.

Oh yeah, he also sent me this.

The face I sent says it all.

*rolls eyes*
I also had a super long straight faced moment when I heard this “dis track” aimed at my big bro and the Rebels.

I commented on the blog and said what the hell I had to say on that, but guess what? I’m in the mood to take screen shots so here we go:

Is this me tryin’ to get involved in some DMV beef?

Nah, not really.

Is this me using someone’s stupidity as an outlet to work off some of my frustrations since if I were to call someone out on their bullshxt I’d get told off and I don’t have the time nor the patience for jail because that’s where I’d end up for strangling said persons?
Yerp.

lol.

Well, that’s it for now, someone just got online that I really wanna talk to but at the same time I don’t because…

*sigh*

I miss us.

♥

 Editors Bloggers Note:

Now, I’m not the one to start ish…but I will instigate the hell out of a situation keep y’all updated on this “Hello Kitty” [Their name for him, not mine]  vs. The Rebels ish.

Dee Woodz of The Rebels issued a "Quick Response" to Senor Sanrio and this pretty much says it all

What These Niggas Want From Me? [*DMX Voice*] Somebody Let Me Know

Tell me what they want from me

Because I sure as hell don’t know anymore smh.
*waves  in an aggravated but cute manor seeing as I’m Ren and even when I’m aggy I’m cute with it*
What’s crack-a-lackin’, poppin’ and gyratin’ everyone and before you can try to say something about my greeting let me stop you right damn now. Ren honestly does not give a gotdamn nor a fanga in the middle about your thoughts on the way that I started this blog post. You aren’t an editor—and if you are you aren’t mine so suck on a big toe—and this is not a book that I’m trying to sell. This mine good sirs and madams is a blog post and cheap therapy for yours truly.

Now that that’s out the way, I really do need a bit of help right now and the sad thing is that I’m not even sure what the eff I did to need it!

I was “told” that my “apology” was “too late” and I’m gonna stop before I go “quotation mark crazy”.

Real shxt though; I’m confused right now as in majorly…

I hate having people mad at me and I hate not knowing how to fix it. I’m tryin’ to figure out what it is that I did or said—yes, I care that much about this—to have this person mad at me, and I’m consistently drawin’ a blank.
Da fxck did I do?
UGH!

See.

This is why I act like I don’t care about shxt. I try to clean up the mess that I’ve apparently made and I get nothing.

Wish someone would tell me what the hell I did wrong.

*sigh*

I’ll be back to my normal posts soon everyone. Found this guy who’s mixtape was so bad that it was sentenced to death by microwave by my lil bro and I may shoot a video later. It’s been a while since I’ve sat and gotten relatively random on cam for 4-7 minutes.

New video comin’ soon.

♥

Now Usually I Don’t Do This But Um

*aggravated and super annoyed sigh as I grit my teeth and write*
This is not something that I do on the reggy and the chances of me doing so again are slim to helldafxcknaw so please, relish this moment as it may not happen again in your lifetime. Without further ado:
If I have ever offended you, on purpose or otherwise, made you mad—again, on purpose or otherwise—or done something to make you feel as though I was attacking you—once more, on purpose or otherwise—this is my apology.

I act as though I don’t give a fxck about people or their feelings—and on some level I don’t. Just because I apologized doesn’t mean that I’m gon’ lie to y’all—but I honestly do. Ask anyone who really knows Ren; I care about people.

A lot.

So, here it is. My blanket apology.
I can guarandamntee that I’ll do something to piss you off—I’m Ren. It’s part of my charm—but when I do, just refer back to this.

Unless it’s necessary, I won’t be doin’ this ish again. Lucky that y’all got this.

*shrugs*

Ain't Nobody Mad But The Devil...and Me

Hey y’all, how’s everyone feelin’ on what’s a cold ass Monday here in the cap city of the driest state in the whole of the U. S. of A. Michigan? Really? Is that so?

Yeah…forgive me if I don’t care.

*shrugs*

lol, I joke guys and gals, sheesh. Seems like niggas and bxtches—I call you that as I’m too lazy to find out all of your names—are offended far too easily these days. Lighten up folx, damn! I’m not sayin’ not to take life seriously, you should because it’s life but I’m sayin’, there should be a healthy dose of humor injected into your lives. Some of y’all are gon’ hate me for sayin’ this but um…

Life’s a joke and it’s on you

live and laugh it up while you can

the punch-line is a killer

Yerp. I said it.

ANYWAY, I’m gettin’ more than a little annoyed with people. As a matter of fact, as I sit here, freezin’ my ass off and losing my voice at the same damn time, I’m gettin’ straight pissed off. People—as in plural. If you’re reading this and think it’s all about you it’s not. You aren’t the only person to piss me off sir/madam/bxtch/nigga umskay?—have located my last nerve, put on a pair of 7 inch lucite heels and started doin’ the A-Town stomp all over that bxtch.

There’s a part of me that want to believe that they aren’t doin’ it on purpose; I try to see the best in people. But then I look back over our combined histories and realize:

these muddasuckas are doin’ the shxt on purpose!

They gotta be y’all.

Now, a quick question before I go and make myself a cup of tea for this aggy ass throat:

why is it that when I do the same shxt that they’re doin’ to me, I’m immature and should know better?

Yeah, okay, even I can admit that it’s immature when I do it and blah-blah-blah, I should know better. What I’m tryin’ to get at is that if I should know better, THEY should deffy know better.

I’m tired of people comin’ at me fifteen different types of reckless because I do somethin’ that they don’t like after they do somethin’ that I hate.

I bite my tongue on the reggy because believe it or not, I don’t have the time nor the patience necessary to sit and deal with someone and their attitude because believe you me, mine is enough of a hassle. But when I let loose mine tongue—that sounded hella weird. Ew.—and say what’s on my mind, people wanna get all offended and shxt then start takin’ shots and then I’ll shoot back and yeah…

It’s a bad scene.

I’m done wit’ this ish for the moment, I’m gettin’ annoyed again and I don’t have the time for that. Today is gon’ be a good day regardless of the people that are on my nerves. Had a meeting earlier and things are really lookin’ up for ya girl. Don’t wanna chance it so I’m not gonna say anything about it but like I said, today’s gonna be a good day.

Anything else before I go?

Oh…

It does suck that you couldn’t wait til November. I was really lookin’ forward to that.

*shrugs*

It is what it is I guess.

*kicks rocks because I don’t like it*

lol.

♥

My Booty Makes Him Go “Argh!” Like a Pirate

*sigh*

What it is, what it look and/or be like y’all; how ya livin’ and all that other ish that I could and just might say if the spirit moves me.  How have you all been?
Not that I get any feedback from most of y’all

*intergalactic side-eye from the fourth ring of Saturn*

But hey, at mine core I am a very nice individual who can fake and act as though I really care about how y’all are doin’. That’s number 87 on my “Number of Infinite Things That Make Ren Unique Ergo Better Than You’ll Ever Be So Feel Free to Sit There, Hate and Wish That You Were Born This Damn Awesome” list. Number 86 is the fact that I don’t need to rely on makeup like some of y’all females who need to get your faces beat by MAC every morning before you face the world. As for number 88? Yeah…

*giggles maliciously from behind hand*
I got a way wit’ words that has left more than a few people gasping for air and speechless. That’s all you need to know until I feel the need to divulge that particular unique thing to these interwebnets—word to my lil bro who got me sayin’ that ish. Anywho…

[I was jokin' by the way everyone, I do care about y'all. Sheesh.]

I’m mad at some of y’all buttfacedlosertards—one word—for jumping to conclusions about my last post. Why is it that when I take a few minutes out of mine life to sit and be serious for once I’m emo, suicidal or some combination of the two? I’m not all about talkin’ my shit and/or bein’ goofy all the time y’know; I am a multi-faceted individual thank you kindly. Just because I post rather hilarious blogs—this is my opinion at least. You don’t have to agree with me but if you don’t, really, why the eff are you still reading my ish?—and talk my shit about people in said blogs on the reggy doesn’t mean that those will be all that I post.

Ca-frickin’-pishe?

Life is not all about jokes. Nor is life a fairy tale...

Sorry, just wanted to use a quick Fantasia reference to post this pic

…BWAHAHAHA!
Oh, don’t front; you know that ish is funny as eff.

I didn’t just post the pic for the eff of it. Well…not just for that.

*shrugs*

I haven’t posted anything in a while and if you follow and/or stalk my blog *side eye* on the reggy, you know how I write. On my honor I will try my best to keep this blog under 2,000 words. The reason being that unless you’re hella nosy or bored you won’t wanna read all that. I for damn sure don’t wanna write all that. I’m lazy.

Sue me bxtch; at least I admit it.

Moving right the eff along:
Remember a couple of posts back when I talked about my buzz out in Murrland and ever so briefly touched on GH? Yeah…about him. Um, let me put it like this:

His life hath been rated a certified Eff Ay Eye Ell FAIL by yours truly.

GH and I got off to a great, eff it, fantastic start. Dinner that night had been amazing. Dude washed the dishes after bringing me dinner. He randomly danced wit’ me before he went home. GH even brought me back home from my Positive Psychology class because it was raining the following Monday and even brought me breakfast that Tuesday when I posted my blog about Beckaaaayyyy.

The plan was for me to repay the kindness that he had shown me by bringing me the ribs that I proceeded to slay, smash and kill the night that I had gotten my braces taken off by making him a home cooked meal.

A few things…

1) I love to cook, by like a lot but do I like to cook for other people? Yeah…no; not so much.

2) I cooked from scratch for this muddasucka. Say that ish out loud and let it marinate in your spirit. Scratch. Do you know how long cooking from scratch takes? Yung; that’s like some junior housewife in training type ish!

3) When I saw this fool earlier that day, he said that he was gonna come over early.

4) Dinner was scheduled for for around 5 so early would’ve been any time before then.

5) “Early” turned out to be not at all as this nigga never showed the eff up.

At all y’all.

He didn’t show up at all.

At 6:00 I said a loud “fuck it”, gathered up the steaks—which weren’t cheap by the effing way—and the rest of the food that I slaved over a hot stove to make and gave it to my neighbor who deffy wasn’t expecting a home-cooked meal that night. After dropping off the—home-effing-made—ice cream. I went back into Chez Ren to wait by the phone and Tweet away my frustrations.

I waited for the rest of the night for some sort of contact from this punkbumbuster [one word].

Nothin’.

At.

All.

No call on Monday.

No page on Tuesday.

No email on Wednesday.

No instant message on Thursday.

No smoke signal on Friday.

No telegraph on Saturday.

And when I bumped into this…person on Sunday he didn’t say SHXT to me. Not nary a damn word that popped outta that muddasucka’s mouth was aimed at Ren.

Not.

Nary.

A.

One.

[>_<]

He couldn’t say shxt when he saw me but did that stop him from callin’ me at 1:30 in the AM tryin’ to talk like I don’t have a gotdang 10 AM class? Nope; sho’ didn’t.

Then he showed up on my doorstep Monday morning before I left for class and if I keep on talkin’ about this nigga I’m gonna get all types of aggy and I will be “Goin’ Up Yonder” with “Amazing Grace” on that ass and yes, that’ll be with a hymn book.

I'm crazy enough to do it to. Don't play wit' me

So enough about him.

*aggravated sigh as I roll my eyes, suck my teeth and crack my knuckles*

So many things I could speak on, so little time as I’ve gone over 1,000 words and don’t wanna be sittin’ here all gotdang night so, what to do, what to do.

Do I wanna touch on—why did my mind just go all sorts of totally inappropriate places with that?—The Bamma?

Oh yes, yes I do, but in a few totally inappropriate ways that I’m not about to discuss via my blog. I will not be the subject of a post by Hoe Cop, y’all got me twisted, flipped, sideways—again, my mind just went somewhere bad. Grrr.—and all around effed up.

All I have to say about him right now is that my booty makes him go:
*hooked finger*

“Arrrrgghhhhhhh me hearties, I wanna swab that poop deck”

just like a pirate.

Ask him.

…LMFAOOOOOOO

I wanna say that I can’t believe that I said that but then again, I’m Ren and that my friends would be a lie.

Um, to steer this ship into less dangerous waters, what else could I talk about?

Um, my lil bro siced my whole entire life by givin’ me the sweetest shout out on his mixtape but I don’t wanna talk about the sicing of mine life until I get my copy of the tape to review it.

I could talk all these whack artists from Twitter and MySpace that send me their tracks and beats like I’m in the music biz and can get them a damn deal and lets not forget like I care.

I could also talk about my dislike for church folx—NOT Christians—and how I’m deffy not stuntin’ our bishop but that would leave me sitting here typing away for hours and I would like to catch up on some unneeded beauty sleep a little later on if ya catch mine drift.

There’s a lot of other ish that I could talk about but guess what? I don’t feel like it. I’m lazy, so, I’ma leave y’all wit’ these last few things:
The devil don’t like you and neither do I

[I said it. And?]

And this picture because it amuses the hell outta me and I don’t care if you like it or not.

And on that note, I’ll try to post somethin’ else this week.

Me promise.

*crosses fingers behind back*

lol, jp.

♥